An Heir to the Throne a Loki fic
by lokislady
Summary: I apologize for any spelling or informational errors in here. I don't like it very much but I figured I might as well publish it. I realized in the middle that Loki seemed like too much of a softy and I decided to play off that. I don't usually do M stuff but there's a first time for everything I guess! Enjoy, criticism welcome!
1. Will That Be All Then?

"It's really quite marvelous outside isn't it dear?" I nod intently. Waiting for this dinner to be over. My father has set up a marriage for me, an arranged marriage, to none other than Thor. Don't get me wrong, he's quite handsome, and well, godly, and I would like nothing less than to be he queen of Asgard, but he's not interested nor am I.

I suppose Odin wants someone to take the throne. He's been doing that Odin sleep thing and who knows when that's going to come crumbling down. Queens make heirs to the throne, that is all. My father is all for this, I would like something more.

I stir my soup, boredom has made me unappetized. Looking up, my eyes catch the tall drapery down to the well decorated table. I realize I'm staring and I blush in apology. Mother kicks me under the table. The son to the left of Odin is quite handsome. He has this looming, mysterious stare that I can't help but feel on me. Loki, I believe he's called. His blue eyes are so electric that you would of thought he's the god of lightning. I hear what they say about him though. He's no good.

We exchange a few blinks and I find myself over come with intense lust and a headache to match. I grip my head attempting to find the source of this god awful pain. Looking back, his grin seems to be growing from ear to ear. My mother stomps on my foot under the table. "What are you doing?" she spits between her teeth. No one is paying attention, partly engaged in their own lackluster conversation. "I feel ill." "Is this some kind of joke!" she yells a little louder than intended, attracting a few pairs of eyes. "No, nothing funny mother. I'm sorry, excuse me."

I excuse myself from the table, feeling horribly rude and slightly Ill. Odin nods at one of the guards "Show her to quarters." "Allow me." Loki springs up at the wing of the table and comes to my side pointing me in the right direction. He is rather tall, compared to me at least. The first son of Odin looks up from his empty dish, growling at Loki and his bad intentions, studying me, and bidding me an ingenuine goodnight.

I find myself even more flustered as I follow him down the long hallways. I have to stop for a moment, as it gets quieter the pain seems to intensify. It seems everything in this place is overly decorated, too large. He opens a door for me. "There you are. Will that be all then?" there's a mischievous tone in his voice. "Yes, thank you." "Goodnight"

I find a bathroom in this labyrinth and allow myself to shower until all of my bad thoughts are stored away. That's what gets me in trouble. I stare at myself in the mirror, brushing some of the long curls out of my vision and staring at my pale frame. I can't stop myself from thinking of him. Bad things. I find my way back into bed without bothering to look for any clothes. Falling fitfully into sleep.

I wake up slightly alarmed at my state of unclothed-ness. I stretch and rise from the smooth sheets, feeling a burning in my belly that's not from hunger. I search for some kind of undergarment in my trunk but find nothing. I shiver, crawling back into the bed, desperate to cover up, I feel this filth, creeping up my spine. I roll over and feel something wet.

I jump out of the bed and remove the covers to find a giant wet stain. Oh boy. I need to get out of this room. It's consuming me, thoughts of him, thoughts no girl should think. I dump the trunk, searching again for something to wear, finding nothing. I pick up a hairbrush and throw it in frustration. I see a shadow in the doorway to the restroom. I assure myself it's just my imagination. The shadow grows fuller, and I see two…horns?

I'm too shocked to react or be a lady and cover myself up. He, making himself still hidden, stops, I feel that stare and my belly tingles. This is a dream. There's no way he could of gotten in here? "Looking for these?" he steps out of his shadow, dropping my panties in front of him.

I frantically cover myself up. "What are you doing!" I yell, as if he was miles away. "I mean, you, you…you're here and I, how?…your brother and I… uhm, GO!" he laughs, strolling towards me in his decorative attire, must be a matching set with the castle. I wonder how hard it is to take that off. Stop. Common sense. Reasoning, relax, think. He looks so handsome and STOP! "You really mustn't talk so much, it doesn't help your case." he puts his hand on my cheek and I shiver.

"I can see, you know, what you dreamt about, what you were thinking about at dinner last night." I pull my bra on, shaking. I walk over and pull on my panties shyly. "Please leave Loki. I would love to be in your company some other time while I'm clothed." "Stop fighting it." he smiles, pulling back the covers. "That marriage children thing isn't for you is it? Too boring. You like exciting. I saw that last night, I have to say, for someone so small and polite you sure are…imaginative." I want him so bad, something is pulling me to him like a magnet. Something about that green and gold suit and his wondrous face, his dark curls. This is some kind of mind game. I button up my pants and pull on a light shirt, looking to make a quick exit to the company of others.

"I could, give you exciting." he blocks the door. His breath is cool and he towers over me. "I could give you what you want." I'm melting. I won't be tricked. "I could give you all of that, and more, more pleasure then you ever imagined." he tucks a stray curl behind my ear. Pinning me between him and the door. I feel dizzy, almost like a dream. The room spins but he remains, taunting me. "Isn't that what you want?" he presses his lips to my neck.

I nod. He moves back to study me, with that gaze, and menacing grin to match. I don't want to have sex with him. I want to submit to his every command, I want him to touch me in the most sinister places and whisper filthy things to me. I reach to unbutton my pants. "No need for that." he laughs, inviting me to climb into the bed. I find myself unable to blink as he strips down to a thin pair of boxers, removing the heavy trousers with his long fingers.

He touches in-between my legs and I'm ashamed that I've already soaked through my pants. He chuckles, sliding them off and kissing my neck, painfully slow and shy. "Patience." he whispers. Oh yeah, the mind reading. I exhale, shaking, and inhale his perfumed scent. I put my hands on his back and he's oddly cold.

He pulls me onto his lap, tilting my head to the side to expose my neck. He reaches under my shirt and unclips my bra, with my shirt still intact. He cups my breast with one hand and tends to my panties with his other. Bunching up the fabric so it's pulled tight between my lips and running his finger up and down it's length. He begins to kiss my neck, all three growing into a phenomenal rhythm. This has to be going somewhere. I moan, and he smiles, satisfied. His fingers creep up my waist and back under my panties. They're freezing on my bare flesh. I shiver and he backs up.

"Lo…L, Loki?" "Yes darling?" "Maybe we shouldn't. What if someone sees?" "That's part of the excitement!" he chuckles. "I wouldn't worry about Thor, he's too busy with Sif and that Midgard woman…Jane Foster." "I'm not sure that I-" "Hush!" he snaps and I feel suddenly frightened. His hands are still there reassuring me. He takes a breath, not wanting to frighten the prey. "Oh I see, you're a virgin." he laughs again. Is this all funny to him? "I want to, I want to give it to you." "But you're scared?" he says almost teasing me. I nod into his neck.

"Good thing you told me. What a shame it would've been to deflower you with my fingers." still chuckling. He seemed nothing like the passionate type, but he was, most definitely. "Well, I'll make this easy for you then, rookie."

Plotting, he stands before me at the foot of the bed. He has a broadness about him not in width or height, but in the way he carried himself. He was thin, but not scrawny. Not bulky, but toned. His face long and young looking, his eyes made my stomach churn. "Kneel." he snaps at the ground in-front of him. I obediently drop to the floor, onto my knees.

He smiles down at me. "Do I have to instruct you?" he asks patiently. "No." I toss my shirt aside and my bra, already loose, falls in front of me. I'm just unsure at how to begin. I wet my lips and tug at the fabric until I can see his hip bones, more, and more. I stare in amazement. I can tell he's pleased with my shock.

I kiss and suck on the tip gently taking my tongue further and further down his length. I don't know how I'm going to do this. He must think so little of me, a petty little virgin. I look up at him and he's staring straight at the wall. I pull my hair back, looking to get to business. I surprise myself at the first push, taking more than half in my mouth. Making my hands busy and taking a deep breath. My mouth is getting dry and I'm making myself anxious.

'It's quite simple really' I think to myself. I want the whole thing. Cramming another 2 inches down my throat, mentally pleading for him to help me with the other 2. I spit ungracefully and choke. Repeating the process, I'm stuck. My jaw is taut, straining, and my tongue is searching for the top of my mouth, each frantic movement choking me more. Looking up at him, he smiles at me. "You look like a sad puppy." he laughs. Biting and licking his wonderfully pink lips. I envy the smallest things, how his mouth is empty. My nose burns. He angrily tangles his fingers in my hair and slaps my cheek, pushing my skull and his hips against each other. "Errrughhh." it sounded more like a battle cry.

This continues for a while and it becomes surreal. The god of mischief is fucking my skull. I feel belittled, I'm only a hole for his pleasure. Oddly I'm okay with it. I gasp for air, coughing up a lung. He grabs my face again. "You're a good whore." I wheeze as I take inches 9 and 10. He twitches in my throat. His face contorts with pleasure. "Ohhh. Ohhh ahh." I've heard this stuff is foul to taste. He's so far down my throat I didn't think I'd get the chance until he pulls out and fills up my mouth.

I wipe a stray drop from my chin. "Now comes the fun part my dear." he pulls me onto my feet and pushes his body against me, bulldozing me onto the bed, pressed under his body weight. Practically licking my mouth, but neatly, rhythmically. His cold hands running up and down my body. He touches me and I let out a cry, he does it again, stopping, looking almost confused.

I'm desperate for his hands on me. Something. Even if it hurts. He rolls off of me and walks around the bed, strolling, he might as well smell the flowers while he's at it, get a cup of coffee. His smile lets me know he knows he's torturing me. "Wha…what are you doing?" "Certainly don't be scared!" he laughs. Kneeling at the end of the bed, putting my legs over his shoulders. "I figured I could…return the favor."

He nibbles at my thighs. My head is spinning. I can't keep my eyes open. My god. He licks at my slit, I buck up and he pushes firmly on my hips, walking his other hand up to my mouth. "Please. Please…no more." I scream. I can't even feel what he's doing all I know is that it feels wonderful. I cum and he covers my mouth, masking my screams of pleasure.

It just seems to be the catalyst of many more as he sucks my juices, replacing them with his long tongue. I grab his hair in a similar fashion and beg for mercy. He sends me over the edge for the umpteenth time and my knees quiver and knock against his helmet. "Oh my." "Have you had enough then?" his lips form that devilish smile.

I find myself a bit sleepy. My body stretched to it's limits. "On your hands and knees." he kindly instructs me, pulling my hair out of my face and stroking my back. I'm getting a vibe from him that this is going to hurt. "Relax." he says sternly, a sharpness to his voice, not particularly relaxing.

He takes his position behind me and I see him thinking about how to best approach this in the mirror. I laugh at him. "Do you really think it wise to laugh at me?" he says playfully. "I do what I want." I tease him. He nudges my legs apart with the back of his hand. "No, not like this." he lays me down on my back. "I'd like to see your face…sadistic, I know." he smiles, the first real un-mysterious smile.

Pulling my legs up towards my chest he takes his marks. "Do you trust me?" "Trusting the god of mischief? Not the best investment." "I'm saying, are you ready to do this?" "How kind of you to ask. Yes, Loki, I would like you to do this." "Okay." he plants a kiss on my forehead, quite out of character. He takes a mighty thrust backwards.

I'm not quite sure what I was expecting but it was a lot less painful than this. He tears me apart, it comes to a screeching halt for a moment and I feel as if I have been ripped in half. I'm tearing. I let out a soul ripping scream. Lost, drowning, searching for air. I can't feel my hands to check if I'm still there. 'It's done' I think. That wasn't the half of it.

"That's the worst of it. I promise. I got it over with." The words are caring but they come out cold. I nod. He realigns slowly, now taking everything slow. Going in for another stroke. I shut my legs. "That's going to hurt worse." he is a true sadist, caught between caring for me and the satisfaction he gets from watching me suffer. I see it conflicting inside of him.

I let him do what he wants. Searching for a self-destruct button internally. "It's supposed to feel good to you too you know?" I'm indifferent. All of it is going to be painful. "Here." I feel little relief as he rolls over. "What?" he laughs. "It stings." I moan. He kisses me on the lips and runs his hands up and down my sides, pulling me on top of him. I'm hesitant to move. "This'll be easier, see?" I kneel over him, taking his hands for support.

I roll my hips slightly. I can tell he's growing impatient. I relax my muscles a little and go for the prize. I'm only able to take a little more than half when I'm literally sitting on him. I keep trying to do this until it feels 'good' like he said it should. I can feel him getting stiffer inside me, his tip now poking at my cervix. He's trying to detect any hint of pleasure or enjoyment.

He takes control a bit and when I'm all the way down he brings his hips up awkwardly, jamming himself inside of me. This is starting to feel phenomenal. Awkwardly phenomenal. He's so deep inside me. I whisper his name, he responds with a smile and begins to work at his hips back and forth in conjunction with mine. His hands begun to give out with his body focused on other things. I reach for the next thing I can grab, the helmet.

At this point I'm doing nothing, but being consumed with pleasure. More than I ever imagined. He grows tired of this position and flips me back over. I try to reach for his back with my hands, clawing in ecstasy. He pins them above my head, letting out a rather primitive sounding growl. Consumed with animal lust.

He unmercifully slams into my body. I whimper. He nods as if to tell me I'm his bitch now. "I'm gonna… cu-" he pulls out. Pulling me by the hair on to my hands and knees, somehow getting even deeper. I swear if I would've looked down I would've saw his cock poking from the inside of my stomach. He takes a firm grip on my hair, wrapping it in his fingers, pulling me back towards him until I'm off my hands.

"You best not cum until I tell you, are we clear?" he talks into my neck. "Are we clear?" he snarls. "Uh- ahhh…Yes sir." I whisper. "Good girl." He sinks his teeth into my neck. His hands explore my neck and my stomach, my ass, back up over my shoulders and onto my breasts. He shifts his weight slightly, squaring up with me again. He hits a spot inside of me that makes my knees give out.

I scream as he slams into it again and again, going out of his way to hit it on the way in and out. "Oh, ohhhh fuck." "We had a deal." his hand slides up to my neck, choking me. Constricting more with each scream. I make a dry gasp for air and there is none. He smiles maliciously, backing all the way out and going for one more grand shove.

I'm in trouble now. He knew I was going to, he did it on purpose. He roughly pushes me on the bed and towers over me. "I don't like liars." his rage isn't genuine but he's waiting for me to pay. His gentle grasp turns into means of restraint. "On the ground." he demands. I sit on the ground. "Lay on the ground." he growls harshly, as if I should've known better.

The floor is cold and hard, as most floors are, but my ribs rub against it and it hurts horribly. I lay there for a while, frightened, as he steps on me. Re-clothed, with intent to kill. He crushes my pulsating head and I could almost feel the pattern of the tread of his heavy boots in my skull. I cry out in horror as one breaks under his weight, a rib, followed by one or two others.

He leaves, his presence is missing. I feel his footsteps approaching and stopping just short of me. He wedges his toes under my ribs. He pours ice on me and watches as it drips down my freezing back. Leaving frozen trails and pooling at the small of my back. I feel the tip of his finger touch my back and it seems that all that had once melted now froze over, only to begin melting again dripping down my ribs and mixing in with my salty tears. I scream as it burns the hell out of my cheeks. I struggle to breathe. I picture his smug grin. "Clean my cock." he orders, like he himself was the king of Asgard. He is up there and I am down here. I give him a questioning look. "You may get up."

I begin to repeat the motions. "I said clean it, not suck on it, dirty slut." I'm a bit unsure of what he speaks of. Now, he seems taller. On my knees I have to strain to reach him. I look up at him again, not daring to speak. "Lick it, you mewling quim." My teeth are clattering and I can't hold my mouth open.

I have a headache and my head is screaming. He slaps me again as I do what he demands. "All of it." he whispers, looking down on me. This is what he wanted all along. This is him showing his true colors. I take myself out of my head, not wanting to gag. "This is what bad girls get. Do you look to disappoint me?" I shake my head. He studies my work. "I suppose you've done well." he backs away from me.

"What can I do to make sure that we won't have this problem again?" I shiver, freezing. My shaking fingers hugging my body. I feel him wracking my brain. I plug my ears, trying to stop the burning, squeezing my head between my knees, my ribs sending out waves of pain. "Ah ah ah, look at me." he warns. I know better than to disobey. "Please. I'll do whatever you desire, please!" I cry out to deaf ears. "We aren't here for me." he laughs.

"I know your greatest fears." he circles me. "I know how to break you. How to make you plead for mercy. Even though I'm sure you know you'll get none. I could torture you so horribly, we'd never see that beautiful smile again." he puts his hand on my face and I let out a terrified cry. His cool palms relieving the burns on my cheeks. "Now, can you promise me. Promise, that I won't have to? That you'll listen to me?" he kneels down on one knee until we're almost nose to nose. "Yes."

His finger scrapes my insides. "Shall we try this again?" "Yes please." I back up onto the mattress slowly. He is naked again. He pulls me to him by the hair. "You know. What I expect." he shoves me onto the bed roughly. This seems to be dragging on. His ice cold hands running up and down my body, his thumbs gently poking at my loose ribs. I let out a squeak in addition to the tears running down my face.

He himself seems to be a bit flustered. He puts my legs around his waist and begins to fuck me dry again. He can't get any farther. "Oh dear, have I turned you off?" he giggles, still continuing to sand my insides. It quickly becomes lubricated and he's able to pick up the pace. Getting more pleasure from watching me, unable to writhe or turn with out letting out a sob, then the act itself. He denies me any comfort of a hand to hold, not once breaking eye contact.

I can feel the wetness dripping down my ass. "You like that don't you? For a virgin you sure take it like a whore." I do like it. I love it. I crave more, despite the pain it's causing me. He hits that spot again and I don't flinch. He's smarter than that though and begins to thrust at an impossible pace. I reach out and touch his chest, laying my hand flat and using it as resistance to roll my hips, his leg bones digging into my ass. I cry, if you wouldn't of known better you'd think I was dying. "Ohh yeah baby. Oh yes! Fuck me." he thinks little of what I mutter.

His fingers crawl around my throat again. "Are you ready?" he raises his eyebrows. I nod. I feel my airway closing. My body's natural reaction is to gasp and squirm under his strong hands. I feel lightheaded. "Good girl." he pets my head, moving into a slow rhythm making me feel everything that he's doing. My exhausted muscles clamp around him.

I must be turning purple because it's difficult to keep my eyes open, much less control my reactions. I look up at him, worried he just might kill me. Wouldn't that be something? He smiles. "Wait…Wait just a moment." he stops suddenly, his beautiful icy eyes on mine and his perfect pale skin against my own. "Go." he mouths, releasing his hands and giving a painful whack into me.

My legs hyperextend and the tips of my fingers go numb. My brain cries out. I can't make noise. My mouth just opens and nothing comes out. My lungs expand and my ribs crunch back in response. My eyes roll back in my head. What a sin to feel this much pleasure. It feels like I'm lost for hours. His seed pouring out inside of me, streaming down into my womb, filling me up. I feel it oozing over capacity, warm in between my legs. The sound of it dripping on the floor echoing in my ears. Is there supposed to be this much? He lays on the pillows above me. Staring at his good work, waiting for my episode to be over.

I lay there, breathless, for another eternity. I expect him to get up and leave, but he stays. He smirks at me as I lift my legs onto the bed in a sticky mess. He gets up and comes back with a wet towel. I wipe it away and toss the towel aside, painfully crawling towards him. To my surprise he opens his arms. "Are you sure…?" he nods. I lay on his chest and he pulls the heavy blankets over us. He plays with my hair. "I was horrible." I laugh. "No, it was actually quite stunning. I swear." "You're the god of lies too?" he chuckles, kissing the top of my head.

"You don't strike me as this type." "And, what, may I ask, is 'this type'?" "The sweet, caring, cuddly, type." "It's the least I could do, I suppose. I did almost kill you, multiple times." he says proudly. "Did you know your brain can actually explode like that?" "Out of your skull!" "No, more of a brain smoothie." "Ow."

"Yeah. I would offer you some ice, but I figure it's not what you need." "No, thank you." "I'll see to getting someone to stitch you up." I shake my head frantically. "Relax! I'll make up some foolish excuse." He hugs me possessively. "No, but you can't leave yet." he sighs at my need for him. I can tell it is new to him, to hug, and kiss, and be needed. It makes my heart ache that this beautiful creature has never been loved.

"Beautiful?" he snorts. "I'm a monster!" he moves suddenly and my weight shifts onto my ribs. I gasp. "Must you do that! Must you read my every thought! I can't read your thoughts." He gives me an apologetic glance and helps me lay on my back, tucking me into the covers like a mother and child. "I'll give you a hint then." he adjusts the pillows under him and I, taking one and putting it under my ribcage. "Yes?" "It has something to do with how you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." I think nothing of it. But I still blush and curl up against him in the covers. He lays there awkwardly unsure of what to say or do. Gods don't cuddle I suppose.

I wake up to him leaving the room, making it look like nothing was ever disturbed. He catches my eyes looking at him. "Did I wake you?" he asks, not sounding the least bit apologetic. "No." "How do you feel?" he asks uninterested in my actual state of being. "Fine." "I'm the liar?" he smiles. "You best put some clothes on. It's going to be hard to tell someone you fell down the stairs naked… Will that be all then?" "Yes, thank you." we laugh.

"Really, what were you thinking?" "I was ill mother, not feeling well. I tripped." she washes my hair over the bath. "You're going to wed with broken ribs?" "MARRIED! What makes you so sure he wants to marry me, he's in love with that Midgard woman, and surely Sif will have it out for my blood. I'm pretty sure Odin has no interest in him getting married to me for Christ sakes!" "You must not talk like that! He must marry to take the throne and make an heir. Why not you?" "WHY ME! I don't want to get married, I don't want to be queen, I don't want to birth his heir. When did this even come about? If he doesn't love me and I don't love him, he has some perfectly well candidates that would love to be betrothed to him."

"Shame on you! We worked so hard to get you here, to raise you to be a lady, and now look at you!" The hairbrush clatters into the tub. "Well mother, this is never what I wanted so you're wasting your time." "Well you are attending tonight, and if the opportunity comes about, you will marry him." "It's not going to." I pout. "What did you do to your face?" "What do you mean?" "You're burned." "No?" "Yes." "I assure you, I know nothing of how this occurred." she shrugs. "I'll cover it."


	2. Rest Well, My Queen

"Really, what were you thinking?" "I was ill mother, not feeling well. I tripped." she washes my hair over the bath. "You're going to wed with broken ribs?" "MARRIED! What makes you so sure he wants to marry me, he's in love with that Midgard woman, and surely Sif will have it out for my blood. I'm pretty sure Odin has no interest in him getting married to me for Christ sakes!" "You must not talk like that! He must marry to take the throne and make an heir. Why not you?" "WHY ME! I don't want to get married, I don't want to be queen, I don't want to birth his heir. When did this even come about? If he doesn't love me and I don't love him, he has some perfectly well candidates that would love to be betrothed to him."

"Shame on you! We worked so hard to get you here, to raise you to be a lady, and now look at you!" The hairbrush clatters into the tub. "Well mother, this is never what I wanted so you're wasting your time." "Well you are attending tonight, and if the opportunity comes about, you will marry him." "It's not going to." I pout.

"What did you do to your face?" she helps me up onto my feet and begins to dry my hair. "What do you mean?" "You're burned." "No?" "Yes." "I assure you, I know nothing of how this occurred." she shrugs. "I'll cover it. You really should quit frowning. It gives you wrinkles." "Oh? Did you acquire yours through your _arranged marriage_?" I spit the words at her smugly. She responds with a swift slap across the face. "How dare you, you disrespectful, ungrateful, mess of a girl." My eyes begin to water and I take the towel from her, drying my own hair slowly, careful not to twist or reach.

I leave the bathroom to dress but she stays put. I lay on the bed slowly, fighting the urge to slam my body against the mattress. The tears spilling over my eyes as I softly weep. I burry my face in the pillows. I feel a set of hands on my back and I jump, letting out a hysterical cry of pain. "I didn't mean to frighten you." she sighs, pulling me up into her arms in somewhat of a hug. I haven't gotten a hug from her in ages. She wipes my tears with her thin fingers.

"Tell me, how did you…fall down the stairs?" she chuckles. "Well, I got a horrid headache, so bad that I was a bit dizzy, and as I took a step down I just…tumbled. I knew something was broken immediately." "And Loki, he helped you?" "Yes. He assisted me in getting to my room and found someone to tend to my ribs." "And then he left?" "Yes?" "I just found it a bit peculiar that he didn't return to dinner. You have to be cautious of people like that you know, he just reminds me of a snake." "I know mother. I thought him to be quite charming actually." she sticks my scalp with another pin. I feel her checking for any loose pieces, grateful she was near finished.

"I don't know how you're going to wear this." "I think I'm capable, I must be a lady after all." I smile at her. "I don't want you to be in pain all night." "I'm fine mother." I prove it to her by sliding it over my head. I take a strong grip on the vanity chair. She pulls the laces and I squeeze my eyes shut. "Tighter" I mutter. I feel my ribs move under the bandage. "Answer me honestly dear?" "Yes?" "Did he hurt you?" she whispers. "May I ask to whom you're referring?" "Loki." her lips barely open "No mother! Don't be absurd. What makes you think so badly of him?" "Maybe they treat him lesser because he…is a villain."

Gatherings on Asgard are rather 'lame'. Mostly a lot of socializing in stiff clothing, and dinner with a place setting wider than the table. Mother enjoys being the last one to arrive, attracting attention. I'd rather stay pressed against the wall. She shoves me towards the front of the hall. The room seeming only taller and more decorated filled with people. "Talk to him." "What do I say?" "Charm him." I'm still in the dark. "You know, what you kids do these days…" "Are you advising me to sleep with him!" "Think about it, what better way to get to know someone…" "Excuse me!" "He was supposed to marry that Midgard woman, he fathers Sif's children, the man is not shy." "So now this is about showing me like some whore on a street corner for your own personal gain! How shallow!"

I storm off, fuming, slipping out the doors into the night. I figure I should return not wanting to be a drama queen. I take the back entrance, down the stairs. I push past everyone, slamming particularly hard into a man looking the opposite way. "Excuse me, I apologize." he puts his hand on my shoulder. "It's quite all right." I look up at him recognizing his face immediately. "You look quite stunning." "Thank you, as do you." he wears a well tailored black suit over a gold scarf, his shirt collar starched and bleached perfectly. Without his helmet he almost feels like a different person. His black shoes coming to a point at his toes seemed only to enhance his height.

"I thought I may see you here." he smiles. I make my gaze parallel with his, he seems to be staring at nothing, an invisible person across the way. "Are you looking for your next brain smoothie?" I tease him. "No, Only someone with a considerably stronger ribcage." he chuckles dryly. "Touché" "Dance?" he still stares off, as if he isn't talking to me. "I don't." "I don't believe that." "Maybe with proper invitation, I could think of it…possibly." he rolls his eyes. "My lady" he says dramatically. "Would you care to engage in a dance with me, possibly?" he presses his lips to my hand. "Why yes, with such a handsome man such as you, I would." I say sarcastically.

He isn't particularly light on his feet, but he isn't the worst. I find myself attracted to him still, but less than before. I have no urge to throw myself on top of him. The fire turns into a general feeling of happiness. I admire how handsome he is. Certainly the most handsome man I've met. He has a jaw line of stone, knives as cheekbones, and his features perfectly placed on his porcelain face.

I feel my mothers condescending gaze on my back. "She's angry." he whispers. "Yes." I step closer to him, letting him wrap his arm around my back, careful not to brush my ribs. The space between us vanishes. "Could I tell you she's not looking for your best interest?" "You could. I would believe you." I shake my head. "She wants to kill you… not genuinely." He laughs. "Do you think we could speak a moment? In private?" I can tell he has no intent to harm me, we are actually speaking, and that whatever he has to say is genuinely bothering him. I nod and he slides through the dense crowd smoothly as I trail behind him. My mother's demon stare following us out the door.

He leads me outside into a long marble corridor, taking lefts and rights, looking for somewhere empty, still with a firm grip on my hand. We pass a few empty expanses and he settles on a spot behind a column, in the back of a hall, at the back corner of the castle, the open sky to the right of us. He lets go of my hand, allowing me to catch my breath. The cold stone feels cool on my neck. He looks around before speaking, as if anyone could find this place. For the first time I feel a sense of doubt in himself, more like a lack of confidence.

He takes both of my hands loosely. "Do you know what this gathering is for?" he lets me think about it. "No, nothing comes to mind?" I look down at my feet. "It's an…sort of an…engagement party, if you will." for who? I idiotically think to myself and well, to him also. "Yours." he laughs at my childish ignorance. "To Thor?" "Yes." he stares pitifully at my rage and confusion. "Why?" I say rhetorically to myself. "Odin is angry that he has no heir at this age, if he is to die in battle, and Odin passes, anyone can take the throne." "Surely Sif's children could…" "All females." he sighs, correcting my theory. "He likes what an partnership with your father has to offer and figures you are attractive enough to get Thor through his many misfortunes with the ladies, and serve as queen." "Misfortunes? Of what sort?" "Oh Jane Foster being banished from Asgard so near to them being wed, marrying her 'real' human true love." "And Sif?" I ask, sort of not wanting to know, staring softly into his eyes. "The goddess of war would not be a great ruler. She is a bit of a stalker, he is her true love, but it goes on and off, as it does when you're love sees you unfit and marries someone from another planet." he chuckles passively.

"So now what then?" I feel myself getting emotional. "Well, you two are going to get married, maybe in a few days, followed by the coronation, consummating the marriage, and waiting for an offspring, a male." he says simply, shrugging. "_Consummating_ the marriage? I have no desire to do such things! Surely he didn't agree, the man won't speak to me, and there's talk of consummation? He already has 2 women, why not add a third!" I throw my arms up in the air. "_Shhh_! You mustn't be so loud!" he laughs, taking my arms back to my sides. "Don't cry." he offers me his hanky, still smiling. "He's not happy, but he wants to satisfy our father. Odin's not looking to wait around for him to find his true love. He wants a mother and a queen. No matter what the expense to Thor."

"I can't get married to him, I can't say no! I can't consummate or what ever it is, screwing someone you have no feelings for is like making love to a rock! I don't want to be queen, I want none of this! Why me!" he waits for me to collect myself. "I'm sorry, how horribly un-ladylike for me to cry and curse in front of you." "No, no it's perfectly fine." he hugs me again, tightly. "You see, there's another plan." he stares into my eyes and tells me, another one of his twisted grins coming across his face. "There is?" I whisper.

"You become…" he stops for a moment, taking my hands again and stepping toe-to-to towards me. Leaning into my shaking body and pressing his lips to my ear. "_You become my queen._" "You and …I get married?" I scrunch up my face in question, still shaking. "Yes." my blood runs cold. I know he's not even in line for the throne. "No disrespect towards you, but how am I sure this is not a cruel, mischievous, plot against me?" "Of course my ways come back to bite me…My dear, I would never. I would love nothing more than to have you on my side as the queen of Asgard. Queen, It's not as bad as you think." "The god of mischief doesn't rule alone?" I become defensive. "Not when he finds someone that he loves, that is the most beautiful in all the galaxies. A strong woman, that can hold her own, no he doesn't. I had never felt love in my heart for a woman like I have with you. Never have I felt the need to care for someone else, or listen to them, or make them happy, and then I met you. And it seems all a bit backwards with our first encounter being…as it was." "I suppose you have found love with all the other women you have slept with?" I chuckle. "No. Just yourself, I was over taken by your beauty, and being cocky, as I am, took it upon myself to get to know you better and now I believe that I would like to spend my life with you, because you make me feel…special." he looks at me earnestly knowing I don't believe him.

"But you are getting married to Thor, he knows of this plan…most of it." "He does?" "Yes." "I'm inquisitive as to how you intend to execute such a scheme?" "Well, I'm going to go in there and tell Thor, he's going to tell Odin that you're no where to be found. You're going to hide in my quarters, and it will be called off. A few days later I'll announce my betrothal to you and there's a bit in between that doesn't really concern you but…" "Won't that cause quite a scene?" I warn him. "Darling, Mayhem is what I do best." "I want to do it." I pronounce confidently. "Excellent." he kisses me passionately, intertwining his fingers in my hair and channeling his excitement onto my lips.

He whisks me down the hallway into a large foyer that seemed to be leafed in gold and stones, there still was a coldness about it, a chilling in your soul, reminiscent of Loki himself. "They know you're in here." he points to the guards. "Make yourself at home, you must hide for a bit, they'll show you where when the time comes. I'll be back in a few hours." he turns to the doors and I pull him back for another kiss on my tiptoes. "Rest well, my queen."

I walk through the large doors into what appears to be a bedroom. I'm in doubt that one person could use this room, about a hundred could fit. It seems to go beyond my sight, all a bit eerily lit. I see more guards against the walls, their faces stone cold. I sit on the bed, pulling off my shoes and undoing my hair, feeling the long strands rest against my back. It feels best to lay, not sit, I do so not wanting to take the corset off in the company of others. I could use the powder room but I'm too comfortable to look and who's to say they won't be in there too. I smile to myself. This bed is so large that there are places that could never have been touched. Maybe four times as large than the bed in my room, which is much too big for me alone, and maybe a family of 10 alone. I can't seem to rest, feeling anxious. I'm not able to pin what the anxiety is from, my thoughts disorganized and moving frantically across my mind. Even though it is silent I feel a sense of chaos wash over the air. I smooth my skirt and sigh, wishing I knew what was happening.

I hear the large door creak open to the foyer and I quickly jump off the bed. The man pulls me along by the wrist to a clothes chest. He gives me his arm to step in and to my surprise it's completely hollow, with false drawers on the front. My leg falls through and I decide to sit and pull my other leg over. My sitting ends up being rather ungrateful, resulting in more of a plop to the hard floor. I gasp in pain. Damn ribs. I situate myself on the floor. "You must be silent." he whispers "I will come get you when it is okay." I nod and he closes the door, deciding to leave it a bit ajar, making the impression that he'd looked here and to not leave me completely in the dark. I hear other guards circling the room, overturning furniture and opening drawers. My heart begins to race. What happens if I'm found? That wasn't part of the plan. I feel my heart in my throat. The doors open and I squeeze my eyes shut. Looking straight, you couldn't see me, but looking down I was blatantly there. They seemed to be thorough in their hunt. He closes the doors again "She's nowhere to be found! Odin is sure Loki had taken her as the mother saw them exit but she is not here and he is down there!" "I assure you I saw nothing of this woman." I recognize the same guards voice that had assisted me. "Describe her to me, and I shall search." he begins to tell a vague description of me. "…quite short and thin, small, with brown eyes and long hair, brown hair." "Very well then, I shall look."

I begin to doze slightly as the air becomes thin and smells of sharp furniture stain in my nose. Putting my arms around my legs that are flush to the wall of the chest, the far end pushing against the middle of my spine. I pull my hair back, beginning to get warm, feeling the heat grow on my neck and back. I still hear pacing and suddenly everyone stands down. I hear clear footsteps to my cage of sorts and the doors creak open. Unsure of who it is, I don't dare look up. "You're fine now." they say.

It's Loki. He gives me a hand to rise and lifts me out of the chest. He seems cold, not that I expect celebration. More like the Loki I'd heard about prior to our encounter. He looks sinister and heartless, cunning and deceitful. I begin to wonder if the one I'd met was some kind of 'false Loki', and this is some horrible trick. "Do you wish to eat?" he says, once again, as if he was talking to an invisible person across the room. "No, thank you." "I know this is moving rather fast and you may be confused for a few days, but it will come together." he says to that invisible woman. I nod. "_Do you doubt me_?" he laughs. "No. I'm just…tired." "We shall sleep then." he whispers.

I walk out into the bedroom. "I shall call someone to get your things if you desire." "No need." I mutter shyly. "Don't be shy. Very soon this will be your castle." he appears to be changing, I can't really see across the room. I make my way into the bed, pulling back the thin cotton duvet, exposing silk sheets. I'd figure for someone who is always chilly he'd desire more than a thin blanket. He makes his way to the middle first, then pulling back the sheets and climbing in. I stand at the edge. "Yes?" he shoots me a questioning look. "Do you wish for me to sleep in your bed?" he nods at the invisible woman. I don't wander far from the edge. Looking to be alone. "Do you wish for another bed to sleep in?" he asks, realizing I might have been asking indirectly. "No, no bother." "Did I hurt you…your feelings?" he asks, sounding slightly horrified. Apparently this being around intimate company, caring for others business was new to him. He'd never before addressed hurt feelings, I'd assume, him being the one to purposely cause them. "No, not at all. I'm just…a bit down is all." "Do you wish to talk about it?" "No." "Misery loves company." he comes over to my end, awkwardly laying next to me. I suppose when you're small you dream of being in a castle and marrying a prince and wearing a crown. I did. Now I have it, the prince slightly less kind and heroic, but handsome none the less. And I want nothing more than to go home. "I'm sorry you didn't choose this. I'm sorry you're marrying someone you don't want to and I'm sorry I can't tell you what's going to happen or console you any, for I have no idea how."

I giggle. "Can I show you?" my giggles growing into laughs of amusement. He laughs at my ridiculous notion. "Yes." I turn to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck and letting my head rest near his collarbone. "Do what feels right." I tell him. He wraps his arms around my waist like a weakling. "You know, I've met three year olds that give better hugs than you?" I tease, smiling up at him. "Make me feel secure, show me you can protect me with those muscles." "Protect you from what?" "Sadness." I giggle. He squeezes me tighter. "Atta boy!" I laugh. "Now if I start weeping to you about my woes and worries, you do as you did before, say 'I'm sorry' or 'I understand' even if you don't because girls love you so much for just holding them that you can't really be held accountable for saying the right thing." "Sounds simple enough." we laugh. "But you have to look like you're paying attention because it takes a lot for a girl to spill her guts to a man." "Spill her guts?" he asks in confused horror. "It's an expression. Like to tell you everything." "I see." "And you have to let her lay there. For as long as she wants. Rub her back, or just lay still, it will come naturally to you I promise."

"Okay." he relaxes. "Let's see." I back away and sit casually next to him. Looking a bit sad and picking at my nails. "Oh, Loki, I… just lost my virginity to this devilishly handsome man." I use his own smirk against him. He invites me into his arms and as I continue to dramatically ramble on about something fake he wraps his strong arms tighter around me, nodding and apologizing, stoking my hair and what not. I intend to test him one final way, sitting up and kissing him. I wait for his response, still caring, it continues for a while before getting heated. He begins to untie my dress. I pull away, he looks at me like a hungry small animal, pleading for more. "Never, ever, take a woman's clothes off while she's upset, you must wait till she assures you it's okay." he raises his eyebrows, irritated that I tricked him, and that he failed, also that there's nothing mischievous about chivalry.

I kiss him again, putting both hands on his face. "Beautiful job though." I tell him. "Must I teach you to act next?" he chuckles, I laugh loudly. He pulls at the strings of my corset under my gown. "Oh excuse me" he smiles "May I take your clothes off?" he smiles cheerily with fake enthusiasm. "Stop!" I push him, blushing."Let us reflect on the fact that I've already seen you unclothed." "Oh, don't be greedy!" I lay down a length away from him. I feel his hand crawling on my back, "Loki." "Yes?" "I'd prefer if you wouldn't." he reminds me of a spoiled child, not used to not getting his way with an antic or two. He does not listen. "I have no intent to be intimate." "I have no intent to take my clothes off in front of these lovely gentlemen." "It's fine, they must be here." "Why?" I nag. "Would you care to have your throat slit in your sleep?" "As I recall it, you took residence with me last night, no peanut gallery in tow, and there was more a chance of you slitting my throat than anyone slitting yours?" I sass him. "As I recall it, you had no problem taking your clothes off for me, us having never met." he huffs. "What are your intentions?" I ask, hurt. There's no response. "You must watch what you say to me, what happens if I am 'found'? I look not to be hurt by you, as I think you cold and heartless. You must force yourself to be kind and caring and I refuse to be your outlet of sinful desires and insults. What great wrong was done to you, that has plundered your heart Loki of Asgard?" my voice shakes. I leave the bed, fed up. "Where are you going?" he laughs at me evilly. "Shall I tell Thor to get the wedding ring?" I refuse to give in, sitting on the floor and pouting, a bit scared he would 'brain smoothie' me, and I would die on this floor, for I could see that he was not above that.

I wake to him dressing, his feet vibrating the floorboards. One guard catches my gaze. "She is awake." he whispers, as not to alarm him. He sighs, clearly in disgust. Walking over to me and looking down on me, I prepare myself to die, as best as one could. "Do you seek an apology?" I ask. He smiles at me. "Would you care to apologize." "I would give you no such satisfaction." I turn to look at him, my ribs aching worse than ever. He spits on me, and simultaneously drags his boot into my sore bones. "I'm satisfied only that you have found where you belong, on the ground in the dirt, with the_ filthy mindless worms._" "I assume you're familiar?" he chuckles, lifting me towards him by the neck "I would be cautious, the proposal of unspeakable torture still stands…my lady." his smirk fades into a neutral stare, seeing that I have no fear of him. He drops me forcefully onto the floor, catching his knee on the way down, my neck and shoulder cracking. Spitting in my face again, he makes his exit. "Do not allow her to get up, she deserves to see what occurs when I'm dissatisfied." he tells them. "Yes sir" they reply in unison.

I begin to sob uncontrollably, not from physical pain, but mental stress. I remain still, not able to move. I cry for hours until my forehead is slick with sweat and grief. My stomach shows it's first hint of hunger, having not eaten since dinner the night before last. With hunger, thirst follows, drying my mouth more with each second. Every once in a short while a thought would come across and upset me, my cries accompanied by dry coughs, the coughs harmonized with screams of pain. I try to settle on this floor. The room falling silent except for the clink of armor put to no good use. "You must not talk like that to him." I don't process the words, assuming they weren't for me. "You must not speak to him that way, for he'll surely kill you. He disposes of all his mistresses, murdering them in cold blood. He is not capable of love. I've seen him since he was small, never once did he allow himself to be insulted or condescended like he did with you last night without a pursuing a much worse vengeance. Not once did he allow a woman into his bed, much less his arms, laughing or smiling, joking, he doesn't believe in real love and he's confused as to what he has with you. He will not hesitate to butcher you in the most torturous way. You'd be wise not to test him…if you look to live." I sit up to acknowledge this speaker and 3 of them are at my throat, the blade scraping against my neck. I put my hands up in surrender, laying back down, choosing to only nod in gratitude.

"Is she alive?" "She appears to be dead." "Check her pulse." "He wouldn't like us to touch her." "Would he rather she'd be saved, the only one he likes might as well die a more majestic death." he laughs. "If you want him to kill you like he did your brother, go ahead." I want to tell these blathering idiots I'm alive, barely it seems, but still alive. Thirsty, my neck bleeding out, and dislocated. The doors open and they make a return to their post. "Where would you like it disposed of my lord?" "_What_?" he sounds annoyed. "The corpse." "Leave a woman on the floor and by nightfall she dies!" "May I?" "Yes?" he growls. "She seemed to be whooping, she had broken some things, probably dehydrated from weeping, her stomach growls, and her neck was lacerated." "Lacerated by whom?" I listen to him pace, and their knees literally knocking in terror. "Three, when she rose from the ground." he says meekly. "She was only sitting!" someone blurts out.

"And after she bled, you sought after no care for her wounds?" "Well, my lord, you usually kill them anyways so we assumed none would be needed." "I wasn't looking to kill her you fools!" his voice booms. "May the three of you that saw fit to murder my bride step forward…" silence. "Unless you would all like to _suffer the consequences_?" I hear three step forward. Followed by one plead for mercy, screams of agony, and three bodies hitting the floor, crying in pain. "Take care of them" he snaps, walking towards me, bending over and listening for my heartbeat. Surely covered in my blood, he tilts my head up. To my shock, I can still feel the pain in my neck. He rests his hand on my throat. "She lives" "The doctor my lord?" "Yes."


	3. Kiss and Control

**I wrote like 4 more chapters to this just out of pure boredom. Again, please excuse the errors because these are written at 3, 4, 5, 6AM when the ideas come to me. No one is reading them cause they suck but I'd rather have them here than on my computer**

I teeter in and out of being semi-conscious, my throat no longer dry or a faucet of my blood. My various injuries iced and bandaged. I awake in bed, clean, wearing a mans dress shirt around me, as well as blankets. Some of my undergarments still bloody. My hair is washed and pulled away. Hunger still pokes at me. I whisper his name, my eyes still shut, curious who would respond and what it is they would say. "He's away dear. I shall find someone to bring him to you." it is a woman's voice. It reminds me of my mother. "He is quite busy. Quite a bloody battle he's in." Bloody battle? "May I ask you, what battle?" I look up at her. She reminds me of a cookie. Pink and round, cheery and spirited. "A battle to rule Asgard, against his brother, surely you heard being so near to becoming his wife." I nod, lying. Against Thor? Ruling Asgard? Battle? What lies did he sell me? I reach around with my good shoulder to my hair, feeling flowers weaved into my braid. I recognize the smell, Magnolia Blossom. It reminds me of being a child and having my mother pin the best looking spring flowers into my hair in her tall mirror, and her laughing as I tied them into a crown. I feel a pang of sadness for them, my parents, surely they are safe in this alleged 'battle'. I prepare to sit. "No no no!" she says gently pushing me back by the forehead. "You mustn't strain yourself dear, your ribs are quite…mixed. The shards could puncture your lung." I lay back. She hands me a cup of tea. I take a small sip, careful not to spill. It tastes putrid. She laughs. "It will fill you. It's to get the blood out of your stomach." I tilt my head. "From the whooping." she explains. "Out of your mouth, in about 30 hours, if you drink the whole thing." she makes another attempt to clarify, I am still confused. "Drink up!"

"Is she okay then?" he asks trying to mask his concern with distaste. "Yes dear, she was awake. Calling your name as a matter of fact." I feel her exit and him get in facing my back. "A battle Loki? What about Odin? Fricka? What are they doing?" "My mother is caring for him, the sleep took him. She will not fight a battle." "Surely you must be tearing her apart? Her own beloved children destroying her beloved land in her husband's absence." "Someone must take the throne, and it will be me. My army is larger and far stronger than it's counterparts. The people will pledge their allegiance to me, no matter how much blood is required to spill. I will rule them, and you will be by my side. What my 'parents' feel is, not worth taking into consideration." I wish to face him. He instead comes to the other side of me. "Why must you cry? Showing this much emotion is foolish." "You tricked me!" "I didn't I-" "You tricked me, you horrible man, everyone is right about you. You are heartless, and you make me sick! Be rid of me then, leave me for dead like you did with your other women. Push me out of your bed and bathe in my blood for all I care! You've torn apart Asgard, you've lied to me and to your own family." he doesn't react, my words mean nothing to him. He doesn't smirk with some clever remark or look to injure me again in some way. "When I am well, I wish to leave." he chuckles at my demand. "Where will you go? Into the war, no marriage is occurring elsewhere now. Why would I let you? Have you really come this far to have some solider come kill you in your sleep for being a traitor? There's much you do not know and I'm sparing you the details until it has settled, as you are fragile…and a liability." he grunts "Details?" I know nothing! I don't know what's happening! And I don't believe you'd tell me the truth."

"You don't? Why would I lie when I have nothing to gain?" he says in that smug tone I can't stand. "Why would you attempt to harm me if you look to keep me with you?" "I thought it more…a timeout." "Well, I am not a small child." "I think it unwise of you to be so curious." "As I told you before, I am not a queen, I am not a well mannered slave to any man. I look to fight my own battles." "When I win the war and I am king, and we are wed, you will know the story in it's entirety." "Who says we are going to be wed?" "Who says your have another option?" "When I refuse to say 'I do' one shall be provided for me." "Yes, death." he laughs. it strikes me weird that he lays next to me and speaks of my death so calmly. "And you have no option, for I don't need your permission." "Yes, suicide." I laugh. "I give you everything you desire, and you still look to kill yourself rather than be with me." "I look only for love in a partner. That you cannot give to me, not in some item or service from you or anyone else, the one thing I desire most you're incapable of giving." "Most women would enjoy being queen of Asgard." "Will you stop that!" he's alarmed at the sudden increase in volume. "I do not wish to fill that title. And I suppose I am not like most women." "Most women are capable of shutting their mouths." he says, meanly teasing. "If I were not stuck to this bed I …" "I rest my case." he laughs laying flat on his back. I think it is night. "Did I sleep through the day?" I whisper. "Yes, two." he yawns, flexing his toned arms above his head. "I may not be here for a few days but ask for any care you desire." he looks like something has hurt him, more deeply than my threats. His eyes look sad and dim, almost to the verge of tears. "Goodnight Loki."

I wake still in the dark, as there are no windows in this room. I stretch with small movements that still cause me pain. My shoulder aching, and my neck burning, my stomach churning. "Will you call the nurse please?" I say, still stretched out. "Forgive me?" he says. "The nurse." I repeat. "Yes." she arrives quickly, taking hasty steps to the bed. "How do you feel?" "Not well at all. Horrid." "Do you feel nauseous?" "Yes, very. I would care to go to the restroom." she shakes her head. "Why not?" "Your ribs." "I may not sit, I may not stand, how do you presume I get rid of this?" "I'm not sure." "May I please sit?" I beg. "Very carefully." she guides my back with her hand, stacking up the pillows behind me. I put my hands on my angry stomach. "Oh my." she puts a waste bin next to the bed and pulls back the covers. "I'm sorry. For what's about to arise." she says with pity. "You must move very little." I groan, gagging and slowly leaning over with my one arm as support. She holds my shoulders, wiping the loose pieces of hair from my face that had come loose in rest, closing her eyes. It seems to never end, I'm sure it's over and it begins again. I take a few breaths. "I'm done." I whisper. She offers me a glass of water to drink. I flush my mouth out with it, spitting it into the bin. "Excuse me." I say. "No, that's quite fine." she chuckles.

"What do you care to eat?" "Nothing!" I lay back down. "You must eat something, you're looking more frail by the moment." "I feel ill." "Not as ill as you're going to be if you don't eat. You'll never be wed by this rate." I sigh. "All the better." "You don't wish to marry him? You seem to be the only one he takes interest in sparing, never has he once cared for anyone." "So I've heard. I do not wish to marry him because he lies, he is the god of trickery. He betrayed his family, he so suddenly meets me and bids me his bride,following him tricking me into being intimate. I look to be loved, yet I fear this man does not have a heart to give or accept any." she nods. "I suppose." "I dread the thought of being queen, being cursed with his offspring, and all the things that come with this marriage that was forced onto me." "They say he has feelings for you though, that he hugs you, that he is kind, and thinks you to be extremely beautiful." "Yes, I could hug you, are we now set to be married?" I laugh. "May I rest?" "I insist you eat prior." "I will eat following, on my word." I raise my right hand. "Okay dear, heal nicely." she exits.

I push the covers off of me, and place my feet on the floor. I struggle to stand, bailing out onto the bed. The guards watch me carefully. I eventually am able to stay upright, strolling slowly to the door in the west corner of the room. I push on it and it is too heavy, made of something more than wood. "I would like some assistance please." he looks to the other guards and shrugs, pushing the door open for me with ease. "Thank you sir." I walk into the next room and he follows. I open the curtains, looking out onto the war-torn land, the smoke from battle blending with the grey sky. I open them further, as far is I can see it is desolate, littered with the bodies of men. It upsets me, the man I am forced to pledge my loyalty to the man who created this nightmare. He notices me getting angry. As I strain to open the window he grabs at my midsection, pulling me back from the window. I scream in pain. "My, a little musty in here, yes?" I spit. He thought I was going to jump to my death, silly, as I was only admiring the path down, as if I had the courage. "I must request you lay back down." "Correct me if I'm untruthful, but I was under the impression that you are not qualified to make that demand." he nods. I get back into bed anyways. He doesn't return for a few days as promised. I actually begin to miss him. Maybe I'm just bored. I rest, and eat, then rest, and eat more.

I drag myself to the bathroom in the cover of nightfall, the nurse assured I am sleeping. Washing myself and my hair, feeling truly relaxed for once. Clean, I half dry myself off and re-dress, limping into bed and doubling up the duvet, wrapping myself in it until I am dry and warm. "Hello my dear." he climbs into the bed, gross and dirty, smelling of sweat and outside. He kisses my neck. "Is this some kind of imposter!" I laugh. "No, I assure you, I've just had a change of heart." "Slaughtering hundreds really lightens ones mood yes?" I joke. "I have won." he beams. "And Odin?" "He has passed." "I'm sorry?" I ask, unsure. "He has passed away, died. He has been properly sent off." "I'm so horribly sorry." I console him. "I am king." he says. "and soon you will be my wife." he laughs, dare not including the part I don't want to hear. "We will rule the people of Asgard." "Okay." "Okay? Is that all?" "I have much worse to say, but you wouldn't care to hear it." he comes closer to me. "Can I ask something of you?" "Yes." "Can you make sure my parents are safe?" "I suppose. How are you feeling?" he asks. "Not the best. Better in your company." "Good to hear." "May I leave now?" I ask casually, adding it in. "Not leave you, just the room." "Yes, whatever you would like."

He sleeps next to me in the morning. Sleeping in past sunrise seemed to be unusual for him, maybe he hadn't slept when he was at battle. War doesn't rest for sleep. I get up and dressed, noticing my clothes had arrived. I wrap my shoulder and rub various creams on the healing gash. The nurse must not've come in fear of angering Loki. The air has a certain tranquility about it today. I look out to see a family burying what appears to be a father and a brother in the ground to rest. Eternally, of course. The children weeping into their mothers skirt as she wipes away her own tears, bending down to embrace them. I find myself staring, my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach. The rain had washed away the blood of the battle and brought in the tears for those lost. I shake my head, exiting, noticing the same guard standing there from a few days ago. They usually switch out and around. "Surely you've gone home to your family?" I ask him. "Not since last week ma'am." "Please go, request for someone to take your spot. He's sleeping, he'll never know." he shakes his head. "I will see to it personally." I reassure him. "I am saving for my daughter to marry." he looks at the ground, shuffling his feet, for some reason shamed that he had to share with me that he was not so well off. I would assume they'd get paid very little. "Ah." He takes something from his belt, unfolding it. I look at it, a picture of his wife and children, some as young as one or two, behind a tiny house and a garden of flowers. "They're beautiful." I tell him, smiling. "I bought us our first house. We were living on the streets, the babies were getting sick. And my wife is expecting. Nothing comes without good work." he says proudly. "Been married for 10 years now." I smile.

"You're up early." I jump, almost knocking into the man "My apologies, I didn't mean to frighten you. Whatever are you doing in here?" he is now once again polished and dressed in his usual stately attire. "Admiring the rain." "From the back of the room?" he blinks, looking suspicious. "I was just leaving actually-" his smirk twists my insides. "Was he, threatening you?" "No! No not at all." "Bothering you?" "No. I was just leaving and I bumped into him, being the klutz that I am." "You lie." he steps between me and the man. "Please don't hurt him! I beg of you." he ignores me. "He was doing nothing but his job! Please Loki, spare him!" I put my hand on his shoulder. He turns to leave, putting his hand around my waist and leading me out of the room.

"I must go, I have things to attend to." "Very well." I nod. He leaves and I follow behind him, too far for him to notice. Veering off of his path into another hallway. It seems to be empty, the castle, the random people bustling around had changed into a more of a slow drip, people occasionally passing by and only staring at their feet. I come upon a door that looks interesting. I approach it, squinting my eyes to read the tiny print. 'dungeon', it seemed exciting so I push open the door and walk down the stairs. One guard recognizes me and looks to the other guards. Instead of asking me to exit, he grabs me and yanks me back up the stairs, once out of the doorway he allows me to walk on my own. "You men must really learn to use your words." I laugh. He leads me back down the hallway into a wider one that seemed to go on forever. We stop at a room and he steps behind me, like a frightened child, reaching over my head to push open the door then nudging me forward.

"I found her in the dungeon my lord." he sits there, where Odin once sat. Confidently, not with a bit of humility, sitting on his own dead father's rightful throne. The room is so large I can barely see if it is actually him. "You're like a child!" he laughs. "You require constant supervision! though I admire your sense of adventure… the dungeon is no place for you." I nod. "Come!" I walk forward to the golden steps, they're almost too large for me to step onto so I wait. He motions for me to come up to him. I do, slowly, and carefully. He shockingly enough, pulls me onto his lap. "I have bad news." he says, not revealing how bad the news was with the tone of his voice. "Yes?" I look up at him. He puts his hand on my arm "Your father has died." I do not believe my ears. "He has been killed in the war and has not been found…alive." his voice goes down to a whisper. "And my mother?" "She is here." tears spill over and I expect him to send me off. He instead pulls me closer. "I'm sorry." his apology is in-genuine, but he makes his best attempt to comfort me, hugging me as I had taught him and allowing me to burry my face in his chest. "It is okay." he whispers "Look" I sit up. "All of this is ours now." I look out onto the room, it's beauty was breathtaking. Dimly lit, the gold covering all four walls only seemed to shine more, showing off the intricate patten carved into it. I rest my head on his shoulder. "Surely you can find something to keep yourself occupied? Something not harmful." "Yes." I say, seeing that is degrading to him to be so kind.

I meet my lady's maid, Claire. I discover that there is a wedding gown in the making. I must be nosy, so I walk into the room to study it. It is grand. Surely not anything I'd seen before, it is stunning. The fabric being the purest white and the gold so intricately embroidered into it into the most amazing pattern. "Do you like it?" she asks, partly expecting me to hate it. "I love it." I notice rolls of this fabric being stitched quickly by a few women in the corner of the room. "For the train." she says. This must be the longest train ever because the fabric is in piles around them. I walk towards them, leaning over their shoulder and admiring their beautiful work. The woman stops and looks up at me, her face older than i would have thought it to be, inquisitive to what I require. "I'm just admiring your work. It's breathtaking." she smiles, accentuating the wrinkles in her face, and picking up where she had left off. "Do you wish to try it on?" "May I?" I ask like an excited child. "'Tis yours!" she laughs. I am almost afraid to touch it. I shyly pick up the hem, crumpling the tool in my same hand, finding the middle, and pulling it over my head. "How does it feel?" she asks lacing the back, clearly pleased with my expression. "Grand. Much too grand." "It fits you like a glove." it definitely has some weight to it. "It's a bit heavy for having no straps." I tug at it. "With undergarments it will do." she searches for the end to a pile of fabric, fastening it to the bottom and laying it out behind me. I feel like a real queen now. The kind that I played with as a doll during childhood. I nod, pleased with my reflection. "So you like it?" "I would only wear it every moment of my life." I laugh. "Would you care to see to your crown?" "Yes." "I ask only that you take off the dress." she chuckles.

"He requested you not see it!" she realizes she had forgotten. "What is a secret among friends?" I smile at her charmingly. "Please just a peek?" "You will see it in time." she says, not allowing herself to be persuaded. "Is it nice?" I wonder. "Beautiful. I was told that you were not at all looking forward to being queen, that you had no interest in betrothal, and yet here you stand, more giddy than a 5 year old." "I am a girl, I will always take great joy in jewelry or a gown." we laugh.

For the next few days we are both busy. I assume his work load is light, in comparison to war because he rests at the dinner table in a good spirits, even occasionally telling me about his day. We sleep some distance from each other typically. As I roll in his direction over night I never come in contact with him. "I wish to sleep in another bed for this night, may I?" he raises his eyebrows in question. "It is bad luck to be intimate the night prior to a wedding. I don't look to summon bad spirits to our marriage." he purses his lips thinking about it, also thinking that I am partly crazy. "Okay. Goodnight." "Goodnight. See you at sunrise!" I squeal. He laughs at my immaturity. I climb into this new bed, glad that it is reasonably sized. It some how makes it more comfy. Before I know it I am pulled from my dream, being screamed at to rise from the bed. "This is a day you must not be late!" "It is still very dark!" I roll over, putting the pillows over my head. She is merciless "Come on then! He doesn't strike me as a man who likes to be kept waiting." I eventually get out of bed, into the tub. She scrutinizes my every move. "You must shave starting from the back left and moving counter clock wise." "You wash your hair like a cave woman." "When's the last time you filed your nails?" I begin to become stressed. I sip my tea on the bed.

People begin filing in, bidding me good morning. I begin to pull on my many undergarments. What I pull tightly, she pulls tighter. These strangers begin to pull on my hair, and file my nails, sprinkling and rubbing various powders, oils and creams on me. I am promised it will all come together. "May I sit a moment?" someone begins applying makeup to my face, covering up my neck, and unraveling the bandage from my shoulder. "Would you be so kind as to get me some water?" my request is ignored. I'm overheated and overwhelmed. "Water, now." I growl, removing the mask of calmness. She shoo's them away, pulling back my hair, and dropping it. Trying agin with more hair, less hair, different hair. She turns away to get me my drink and I pull some loosely to the side of my head so that it covers part of my eye. "Today is the day you must proudly show your face." she pushes it back. The rest of my hair is in perfect loose curls. She takes some and pins it back, not sticking me. I trust her judgement, not able to see. She pins my veil to my head, which I find odd not having the dress on yet, but she twists my hair into it, flipping it over my face and back for good measure. "Must it be so far back?" "The crown must fit on your head." I relax for a moment. She motions for me to stand up, taking something from behind her and putting it on my head. I know immediately what it is. I reach to touch it and she slaps my hand away. "Why must you torture me so?" I laugh in agony. "Only a few more hours dear. I'm sure you'll be sick of this thing in time. Cherish your time without it. Does it fit well?" "Yes." she takes it off.

She gives me her arm to step into the dress. Then, assisting me with putting my shoes on. I admire it, smoothing the fabric under my manicured hands. "It all sets in now, doesn't it?" she sighs. "Yes. I'm terrified." I look at myself in the mirror, I look nothing like me. More like one of those dolls. Like a true queen. I'm beautiful. "Walk" she clips the first piece on fanning it out and preparing the next one, this seems to go on endlessly until I'm out the door and down the hall. She scurries behind me, tugging at it and flattening it. "This is endless. It could be another bridge to Midgard!" I laugh. She smiles at me "You look like a true bride. Maybe even a happy one?" she says optimistically. "Possibly." she sticks her fingers into my sides hooking my dress on to my corset. "For safety." she laughs. I begin down the stairs, slowly, with guards flanking my sides and many pulling out my dress. I step down the last step grateful to be on flat ground, not that it removes the possibility of tripping. I was told this was going to be a combo of sorts. That we would be married and then immediately following, a coronation. He was already king so there wasn't much to go through before we call it a day. I just look to be done quickly, hoping the bad thoughts would come after I am married, not during.

I stand at the doors, shaking, nervous, feeling anxious and numb. I don't listen, I don't look, I walk down the isle to what I'm afraid may be the worst decision I'd ever made. It is simple, not much more than an 'I do' and a signature. He looks satisfied, handsome as ever. We kiss and I shy away slightly, it's quick and a bit off center. We laugh to ourselves as the hundreds that are in attendance are not close enough to see. The coronation is about as simple, a few yes' and I do's before the crown is placed on my head, I sit on the throne, and I am queen. I have not yet seen it. He stares at me with great excitement, I'm relieved that he is pleased.

As we exit I wonder what the mood will be as we dine. Are these supporters of our rule? Do they hate him? Did they encourage the war? The train is unpinned and I can now move slightly better, lighter. I sit at my chair, looking out on the table. It seems to be as festive as ever. I decline dinner as it comes around, following his lead. He introduces me to most people at the table, whispering secrets about them in my ear as we move on to the next one. A little girl, about 6, steps in front of me. Her parents call her back, afraid that I may be irritated. "Hello" she says staring up at me. "Hello." "You are the most prettiest queen I have ever seen." she becomes bashful. "Why, thank you!" "I wanted to be queen, but I decided I wanted to be a doctor." "Best of luck with that then." I bend down to hug her and I slip my bracelet into her hand. She is shocked. Jaw to the floor, she runs back to her parents. He looks at me. "What? Just because you must hold your machiavellian character, doesn't mean I must. Have you ever hugged a small child? It's quite nice." he shakes his head. "You should try it!" I laugh. "I don't wish to participate in such a political 1up." "It doesn't have to be, it's good for your heart." "I thought I didn't have one?" he smirks. "It's growing." I wink.

I notice a particularly sad looking being sitting in the corner of the room. He appears to be restrained. "Is that Thor?" he puts his hand to his face, hoping I wouldn't be so observant. "Is it Loki?" "Yes." he grumbles. "I speculate his was your doing?" "Correct." "Let him free." he ignores me. "He is your brother. Allow him to sit at the table with dignity or be confined elsewhere." "He is not my brother!" I see the veins in his neck pulsate, his teeth grind. "Okay." I back away. I pace the room for a while, noticing it's difficult to be a wallflower when the event is partly in your honor. I'm exhausted from wearing this dress.

He returns to me as if our incident had never happened, smiling and standing within inches of me. "Would you care to dance with me?" "Yes. I'd love to." Our dance turns into us moving very little and staring at each other. Like we were a couple in love, I suppose we could be, he claims he loves me and I find moments that I have butterflies for him or that he is a friend to me, few moments, far and in between, but he could prove to be a good husband. "I do love you." he whispers. "I wish I could read your mind." "That would be terrifying." he laughs. "You look stunning by the way. Very queenly." "Queenly? sounds stiff." "That's what I look for in a woman." he laughs. "Then why do you love me so much?" I ask partly kidding. "You're happy. That's new to me. You don't hesitate to be kind to me even though I am not kind to you. And you're beautiful." "You are too. Surely there's another stiff, beautiful woman out there?" "I guess it's too late for that." we laugh. Everyone around us shocked he is laughing and smiling, they whisper to each other and smile back. If he'd kiss me and they'd really be surprised. "There" he kisses me, wrapping his fingers around my neck, exploring my mouth softly, and gently pulling me closer to him, more passionately then I'd ever been kissed before. I'd be embarrassed to show this much affection in public if we were not so newly married. He's a good kisser. "Thank you. Same goes to you." he replies. I slap him lightly, blushing. As the night grows old people begin to file out. We are alone in this room. "So we are married." my voice echoes off the empty walls. "Really? Is that what this was for?" I begin to rub off on him, he has picked up my sarcastic replies. "How do you wear this thing on your head all day with your chin held high? It is quite dense." I touch my crown for the first time. Untangling it from my hair, looking to see it. It's really quite clever, how it looks of his. More feminine, smaller, framing the face instead of a full helmet. The horns embellished with jewels and engraved with a microscopic pattern.

"You wear it too low." he takes it from me and pushes my hair back into place, resting his free hand on my collarbone placing it at my forehead and pushing it back, pleased with his work. "It looks quite handsome on you." he notices, observing from above my head. He puts his fingers under my chin and tilts it up, pretending to admire it from a different angle. He bends down to kiss me, a similar kiss to the one prior, but I respond better. I get up on my tiptoes and put my hands on his chest. He breaks away. "Let us find somewhere more suitable." I glare at him, irritated that it is taking so long.

He leads me into the throne room. "This is more suitable? A bed maybe?" "It's a nice view." "If I didn't know better I would assume that I was not 'view' enough." I twirl my hair in my fingers. "Also, the audience is not preferable." "Oh, so picky." he laughs. "Can you promise me a fair game?" "What?" "No mind reading." "I suppose." "Good." I smile putting my hands on his chest again. His clothes vanish. "I am not magic, I must take mine off." I laugh. "Do you wish for assistance?" "Yes please." he undresses me painfully slow, with the lightest touches and caresses, puzzled as to how to get me out of this tangled mess of strings hooks and laces. I start pulling at the bows, my frame retaining it's normal shape. I pull and twist and eventually I am down to a pair of lace panties and my birthday suit. "Much better." I smile, taking his hand up the steps and onto his lap. It is more romantic this time, taking all the movements in and appreciating each other. "Look at them." he whispers in my ear. "All lusting for you, watching you scream in pleasure. Desiring your body, wishing to be in my place." he laughs "But you are all mine." his hands explore my body. My natural reaction is to reach for myself. "Let's not be greedy." he laughs, putting my fingers in his mouth. I let go of all my muscles, letting him have me completely. "Thank you." I moan, breathless. He sits there still, with his head craned back. I know he is finished. I squirm, feeling it inside me. "You're welcome, Queen Char."

I get up slowly and look for something to put on. He sweeps me up into his arms and carries me up to bed, now clothed, passing by people that seem to think nothing of the fact that I'm naked. He doesn't let me go. He runs his fingers on my ribs, tracing invisible patterns, tangling my curls, touching my face. "You're like a piece of art." he says. I yawn, curling up on him without permission. I purr into his ear and intertwine my legs with his. I am wed, and I am happy.


	4. A Taste of Battle

I wake alone and I figure he has gone. I'm told I must dress quickly so I do, feeling slightly scummy without a shower. I sit beside him all day, listening to him answer requests. There's few he says yes to. I'm unbelievably bored. "What do you think of going out on the field with me?" "The battle field?" "Yes. You are skilled with a bow, and you have equestrian skills I presume?" "Not well to the latter." "Well you will pick it up quickly." "Sounds exciting." "So I figured." I am led out to the barn an introduced to a tall man, known as William, who takes care of the horses. I am allowed to choose a horse. I pet each one and look at it. I notice a white stallion at the end of the stable making noises and banging into the walls. He seems to have a wild temper but he is too majestic to say no to. "Hi pretty boy." I coo at him, tacking up and mounting with my dress. He is calm as I walk him into the grass, dipping his head from the sun. I ride him around for a while and he is as sweet as can be. He does have some speed to him.

It's suggested that I shoot from the horse so I take a practice shot. It sticks out from the grass. I go over to it and pick it up, running my finger along the point to see what I'm working with. It draws blood. I wind it back again and shoot it hits the target with a thwap. "Now, back away and charge at it then shoot." I do, he is a horse of war, I can tell it excites him. "Not too shabby, better then most men." he laughs. "Are you prepared to ride all day, in rough terrain? Nothing like this." "I will not allow myself to stop." I chuckle. "You will be in the very back I would guess, I'm surprised he's letting you fight, you being his wife, as small a woman as you are." "He assumes this is better than any trouble I may get in here." I shrug. He leads me back to a path, it ends and there is mud and hills, water and dirt. "Now for the real stuff." I follow his lead, cantering through it. The ride is rough, I am being thrown around and I frequently have to take hold to keep from toppling off. I am splashed with mud, caked in dirt, and I laugh. "I wish my wife could enjoy this." he says. I take position to shoot as we go along, braking down a muddy hill. My arrow goes straight through an apple on a nearby tree, the other parts of the tree not at all disturbed. I fetch it and taking a large bite, leaning forward to give the rest to my new friend.

The sun begins to set and we head back, at a softer pace. I put him in his stall and brush him, seeing that me and this animal had made a relationship together. He lays and I pat his head. "Goodnight, tomorrow, we head to war." I close the stable and make my way into the castle. "He requests your presence in the dining hall." I walk in, embarrassed at my filth. He looks up from his plate. "My, did you go to war without me?" he laughs. "I had an excellent time. I wish to bathe now, as this is no way for a queen to sit at the table." "As you wish." he nods. "I'll be back dear. Please don't wait up for me." I bathe, discovering that there is another bathroom with a shower. Disappointed at my late discovery, I treat myself to a shower as well, my back and bum beginning to ache and my shoulders growing sore. I'm far too lazy to put anything presentable on. I pull on a pair of sweatpants that hang loosely at my hips and a light nightshirt. I request that dinner is brought up to me and I sit in bed and tell him about my adventures as he begins to doze off.

What seems to be a short while later I am gently awakened "We must go." it seems to be the middle of the night. He rolls out of bed. I want to stay here, in bed, in his company. I pull the covers around myself. "I will see you out there, come on, soldiers don't sleep in." he chuckles, figuring he best wait to see if I actually get out of bed. I stretch and head in the opposite direction of him. The maid insists I wear a gown. "I am not spending my entire day on a horse, in a gown! Do you wish to kill me?" I pick out my own clothing, riding pants, over my armor, glad she is not accompanying us for she can not ride a horse. I get my own bow arrows and dagger, and my pack, I braid my own hair, folding it back on itself so it doesn't hit me in the face. I walk down to get my own breakfast and eat it while I walk out, which apparently is improper. Yet, she doesn't get the hint that I'm irritated. She follows me, practically 'up my ass' as my father would say. I find my horse and step in the stirrup, sitting sideways as you would a chair, and wait patiently for her to leave my sight. There's about a million other people in here and I seem to be in the very back. I grow anxious. He arrives in the stall next to me "Starting the morning off with a headache eh?" I roll my eyes. "I'd just kill her." "I know you would, I can't." "For you?" "No thank you." he settles on his steed. "I will stay back with you, until we meet battle, then I must go." "You need not worry about me, though I am slightly insulted I must stay in the back." I laugh. "You're a liability. Should I see you fall, I may be distracted." "Pshhh, as if you would care." I joke.

He goes into the narrow hall and I get a good look at him. His horse stands about 7 feet tall, black as midnight. He seemed to be covered in gold. Clearly, you could tell he was king. I almost feel as if my presence next to him is irritating, so I wait back. The men make a path for me to cut in front of them. "No, go ahead." he looks back to me a few times so I decide to go up there. "You are not in the back." he laughs. "You are in the center of action." he points back to a huge group of people filing out behind me. As the sun rises, the speed increases, nothing challenging but more then I had been used to. He makes it look too easy. "Can you read his mind too?" I ask. "Yes, it sounds like a horse though. I don't speak horse." It is quiet for a long time. "You may go up there if you wish." it seems to be almost noon, it's brisk and the air begins to sting my face. "Will we reach battle today?" I ask. "It depends, how fast they go. We'll go as far as we can, maybe even through the night if we can catch them in the morning."

It grows dark and we eat our first and only meal of the day, not noticing that I was hungry. He fears we may be close so he leaves. "Loki!" "Yes?" he turns back. "Please be safe!" he nods. The soldiers around me begin to become protective of me, coming closer to me and waiting for me to beg for their help, because I am a woman. We do ride into the night and we all become tired, the opposite of what's needed in this blackness. I bump into the person left of me. "Excuse me." I shake my head, trying to wake myself. "You're mighty brave being out here. Fricka never once mounted a horse to battle." he laughs. "Fricka was proper, a lady of high standards. I am not cursed with such things." "James" he reaches for my hand to shake. "Char, pleasure." The bugs are at us and we slip and slide in the darkness. I feel the mud on me freezing. The horse is miserable, but he leads himself, seeing that I am unable. The sun rises and we stop briefly to eat again, finding my horse a drink. He is recharged. "Atta boy" I pat him, laying forward onto his neck, his body is warm. I yawn and squeeze him. "Are you tired?" the same man asks. "A bit." "Here" he takes a plant from the ground, breaking it, and handing the stem up to me. "Chew it, then you must spit when it grows dry. It will wake you up." I am hesitant, taking a small bite. Some time passes and I do feel a bit better.

We ride almost all day without a hint of anything besides cold and misery. I feel nauseous, sure I am well hydrated and full I continue without complaint. I ride to the far end and stop, those that were close to me follow. I dismount and puke my guts out in the bushes. I groan, clutching my stomach. "Are you ill?" someone asks. "Clearly, she is ill!" they snap. "I'm fine!" I get back up and begin to go ahead of them. I see conflict at the horizon. "Go back!" one yells. "You're foolish to think I came out here to spectate." I draw my first arrow. I see the ground become littered with dead, some ours, others not. It is still calm where I am. Too dense to move. They come in front of me, barricading me from oncoming traffic. "You are truly chivalrous, but I came to battle to fight." I go around them, shooting my first arrow into someone's chest. Not only is it difficult to hit someone and dodge others, but to not trip on them. I watch, seeing eyes on me. I am no mind reader, but they think a woman would be a great prize to kill. There is a few of them, five or six, not too agile as I shoot them as fast as I can retrieve the arrows. There is a few swings at me, many actually hitting me, never a stab, maybe a small cut through armor. It is more than i expected it would be. More dirty, more horrifying, tougher, straining in all aspects. Someone approaches me and I panic. Their sword is not drawn, he comes within spitting distance of me "War is no place for women. Whore." I meet his gaze, he continues in his cocky stride. I get a good shot at his back, he slumps to the ground. I smirk proudly.

There is someone at James' back. It is too far to shoot. I look around me first, no one. I squint my eyes, I could shoot, it could hit him, it could hit the attacker. It may bounce off at this distance and do nothing. I must hit his neck. I focus again, calming the horse. It is difficult to see over everyone else, the dust polluting the air. "Come on…" I plead. It has a straight path, promising, now will their paths meet? He falls, his blood staining the earth. The battle grows thin at their end. Leaving the dreaded mist of war, victory, but still death. I notice one of the men I had seen before lying still. I pick up his tag and ensure it is with him. He looks freshly killed so I bend down and listen for any sign. He doesn't breathe, his body is cold. I hold back tears for this stranger.

We all gather again, taking count of who had fallen. Everyone asking if anyone had seen such and such a person. "You were wonderful!" he says. "No. Lucky." "Better than I could assume any woman ever could." "What is it with you men? I am a woman, can you automatically do things better than me? Does your anatomy entitle you to some kind of 'doing everything better license?'" I laugh. It actually begins to snow, the ground icing over. "We are allowed to rest." he says with relief. "Some days we are forced to go 4 days without sleep, we have men dropping dead at line up." I feel him shake underneath me, the horse. He slides, surely hurting some something in his front right leg. I stand on the ground, leading him to where he can lay. I am told that I am getting my own tent, being a woman. Apparently they know who I am, because everyone nods to me or bows. Acting as if it is some privilege to be in my presence. The men sleep in a long tents, all together. There is a floor, and it is warm. I envy them. I eat there and defrost. I still feel nauseous, a bit clammy and shaky too. They dump on me all the blankets I can hold and send me on my way with some hot tent is larger then I need. I bring my horse to the tent to keep watch. I figure I should name him. I call him Achilles, because of his leg. With my blankets it is somewhat comfortable. I am terrified to sleep alone out here. The tent stirs, I ignore it. It rustles. The flaps open. I scream, taking my dagger in hand. "It's just me!" "James! You mustn't scare me like that!" I lay back down. "I came to see if you were sleeping, you looked horrid before." "No. I'm scared." I laugh. "The fierce queen? Scared?" he laughs. "May I sleep in your tent?" "They wouldn't allow it. I'll be damned if a woman slept in their tent, the queen, not so much. Besides it's a bit suspicious." his silhouette bending over me in the dark. "I look not to cause suspicion or engage in promiscuous behavior, I look to sleep safely and warm, as I am ill, cold, and exhausted. I beg of you." I sit up. "I suppose…Shhhh!" The snow is piling on the ground. I crawl into the end next to him, comfortable. "Thank you."

I am found the next morning spilling my guts once again into the snow. I lay there for a moment. Groaning, and rinsing my mouth. What is wrong with me? I still feel fatigued, horrid. "Char?" "May I be alone for one moment!" I yell. He walks up to me, still sleepy looking. "You've let go of your stomach again?" "Yes." I stand, brushing my self off. "I am very warm." I sit back down. "You are surely ill. You must turn back I'll-" "NO! You'll do nothing, tell no one of this. I will not turn back, and if so, it will be on my own. I appreciate your concern."I wait outside for them to pack up and leave, skipping breakfast and scraping my portion into someone else's bowl. I get new arrows and thicker boots, taking another blanket in my pack. I tack up Achilles, brushing the snow off him and wrapping his leg, he is not so eager to leave. He knows I am not pleased. I pull on his bridle and he knocks me to the ground, getting on his hind legs. I am not scared, I give him a dirty look and he gets down. I hit him on the neck "You best not mess with me boy." We ride into colder weather. The smell of death is coming against us. We pass where war had clearly been. Me and James are ordered to ride up to the next camp. The smell makes me ill, I don't dare look at the blood spilt, the random limbs. I begin to grow cold, my hands freezing too the reigns in their gloves. I begin to feel all my cuts. The blanket becomes too thick to see through. We ride close. There is no way to stop in this madness. The horse halts. "Come on boy, almost there." he lays in the snow. I begin to think it's his sprain but he is just tired. I dig into him with my heels. "Come on! You dense creature!" he stands again. I nudge him forward. It grows dark without us stopping. I feel lightheaded."I can't go on much longer!" I yell into the blackness. "We are almost there. I can see." I do see it now, light, warmth. Someone crosses our path from both sides. I see they are not of our kind. This is our camp. "Hush." I sling the bow from my back, taking it in my stiff hands. Knocking each out before they can see the other fall. We stop and are greeted. "We have won another battle!" they talk. I become dizzy, I step down, in place of waiting to fall. "Watch him for a moment will you." I head for the brush. "What are you doing?" he asks. "Relieving myself." I laugh.

I hear rustling around me. I think nothing of it until I see the glint of weaponry in the distance. I curse, walking back. "There are some visitors circling your camp." the tall man laughs, he's quite broad too. "Did you pick her up on your way?" he asks James, laughing. "How-" I give him a look to say nothing. "I assure you, young lady, there is no one circling this camp, we would know." I cross my arms. I become much more dizzy, slightly leaning onto the saddle for support. The man eyes me. "She is ill." "My good man, what are you doing carrying an ill woman around with you?" I shoot him the same look. "I am on my own. I carry myself. Do you not see the weapon at my back? I came as my own choice, we are not together." he looks at me as if I have no right to speak. "Well, no sense being out in the cold then." This tent is much bigger than ours. I step in to see more than I need to. I step out abruptly. "There is a woman present, make something of yourselves." They laugh, sounding slightly intrigued. I enter, accompanied by whistles and cheers. I sit next to James, by ourselves. "Ughhh my god, I have the worst headache." I slump. I begin to grow warm, shedding my layers. "You're sweating bullets." "I know." I stand to get my water in front of me. The floor and my head are introduced.

I am conscious minutes later. "God fucking dammit!" they laugh at my sailors tongue. I stand up, pushing past the gathered crowd. "Easy!" he pushes me back to sit. "I'm fine. I feel better actually." they all watch me. It's like they'd never seen a woman before. He hands me my water. There is a rather aged man still close to me. He's a doctor I suppose. I list all my symptoms to him. "Is there any possibility you could be pregnant?" "Pardon me?" "Pregnant, a child, PREGNANT." No no no no. "No." "Any at all? Have you engaged in any…" "No, no sir." James smiles at me, laughing. "She lies." I push him, frustrated. "I AM NOT!" I bury my face in my hands. "May I?" I nod. He feels my stomach under my shirt, poking and pressing, surely it is too early to tell much of anything. Not that there is anything. "You say you haven't been active?" "No." "Yes, she has. She is newly married." "I don't believe this concerns you." "It didn't until you lied." "How did you acquire this piece of knowledge?" "I was there." he laughs, challenging me. I turn crimson. "Well there's something growing in there." I motion for him to come closer "Is there any way to…be rid of it?" "Not now, not here. You need the consent of the father besides." I groan. "God! Now I've done it!" I lay down on the mat. He puts a compress on my forehead. It's hot, I take it off. "I am too warm."

"Char, you realize he won't let you be rid of it. If it's a boy. And by the time you know it'd be dangerous to take out anyways." "I don't want it!" I grow uncomfortable, dumping the water on my face, doing anything to cool off. "Rest." "I am trying, see to your own." he shifts next to me on the ground. I put my blankets on him. The man next to me smiles, he looks more of a boy. "They ain't seen a woman in a long time. They're just real full of themselves." He offers me his flask, clearly not hearing what just went on or assisting me in my disposal. I take it from him, taking a good mouthful. This is stronger than anything I stole from my father. It burns in my mouth. I take another swig, nodding to him, gracious. The doctor comes back with cool water. "What's the whore doing here anyways? She can't fight. Dumb bitch just sits there…" it goes on. "She's a hottie though. She surely has some business here…" he looks to me, wondering of I'm hearing all of this. I roll my eyes. The harassment continues until I am on edge. "I bet you she came to see of she could make some cash you know?" "She can't fight but she has other skills." they tease. "Fuck, I'd-" "Didn't your mother teach you not to curse in front of a lady?" he snaps. James is shaken awake. "She could slay all of you. Under the table. Don't make her have to." I sigh, getting up and going out of the tent, removing my armor and extra layers. I am left with a pair of light shorts, a thin shirt, and undergarments. I fasten my belt again, tucking the dagger into it so it hangs hidden around my waist. I lay back down, stuffing the armor into my pack and tying the shirt around my ribcage. I take a blanket from him and pull it over myself. "My dear, how much do you charge?" a man laughs. The same man we met outside, he seemed to be the ring leader. I stand up and walk over to him, all his buddies laughing and chuckling as if he was so brave. I bend down next to him, reaching for his collar. "I choose not to engage in such activities with scum such as you. Surely you will never be 'serviced' by anyone with manners like that. I suggest you begin learn to treat women with respect or curtesy, all of you, before I must show you what other skills I have. What a shame for the king to have such a pathetic waste of life in his force, where someone with brains should stand." I get back on my feet. "My good man, have you ever taken an arrow to the back?" he shakes his head. "Would you like to? I could arrange that for you, no charge." I pat him on the cheek. It falls silent.

Not much later I feel someone past me. They don't exit, they stand at the foot of my spot. There is more following. He draws a knife. I feel him drop to his knees. "This ought to show you." he whispers. I reach for my belt. All his minions cackle like hyenas as he removes my blanket partly, touching me uncomfortably, like I wouldn't feel. He lifts my shirt, squeezing like he was tenderizing meat. After all, this was as close to a woman as he would get. He tries to pull at my bra and I almost strike. Instead, his slimy hands creep up my neck, onto my face and I hold back gags. He reaches for my braid. "You don't mess with the big guys do you princess? Have you learned your lesson?" I take my dagger to his throat in a swift movement, my eyes still shut. I smirk comes over my face. My eyes flip open. "Yes, I have. When your prey is sleeping, armed, don't talk. You mustn't make such slow work of it. Weren't you ever taught about efficiency…_princess_?"


	5. Death Is In Love With Us

I am among the first to rise in the morning. A few more visitors are spotted, only a few. Me, princess, and a few others go shooting from the brush. They are awful with a bow. They don't even make it into the woods. I laugh at their struggle. They fidget with the compound bow. "Excuse me gentleman, and you." I step in front of them, taking my marks. The first one was a warm up, a leg shot, but it would do. The next was square in the head. The two targets go running. I stand, not sure if I could get it from this distance. It's a lucky shot, dodging countless trees, straight through the chest, I see the blood splatter in the snow. The last shot very similar. I wipe my hands and walk back, smiling at them. James is sitting at the fire. "You must find some way to tell Loki." "No." I laugh. "There is nothing that can't wait." We help pack up, feeding the horses and moving on our way. Princess approaches me, taking me by the neck. "You'll regret it whore." "What, defending myself? Did that hurt your honor a bit? Or showing you up?Are you slightly less of a testosterone wasteland now that you realize I will take no shit from you?" I still smirk. He has his weapon of choice in his other hand. "I don't like to loose." he holds it up to my neck. "Lesson: Don't bite off more than you can chew." Someone is at his throat. It's the man that had shared his liquor with me. He let's me go, dropping me to the ground. A crowd had gathered around him and I. James laughs "You have no idea who you mess with." he pats him on the shoulder. "This woman, ill, covered in dirt, and fighting as well as any man. You see fit to torment her. Do any of you know who she is, her name? Anyone?" he asks the crowd. "You may know her… She is the queen of Asgard." it's the first time I hold the title happily. I swear I see jaws drop to the floor. "Now, do you think the king would be happy to hear she is threatened, tormented, harassed, by you all? The man who has ordered the slaughter of all these people, what would he do to his beloved wife's enemies?" we laugh.

The plan is to meet up, all of us, at the last battle. We are the closest, so we wait. "You know we were just kidding, all those things we said…" "I'm sure." I laugh. "Don't think you'll get away with it either. If it not for our encounter this morning, you may have." Us 3 end up leading the pack. They have arrived. The home team. "What do we do?" I ask. "We fight." "They look to be much bigger than us." "Since when did that scare you?" "Now." "Well, Charlotte, this is what we must do, you came to fight. I look not to stop you from your desires." he chuckles. The first arrows fly at us. It is too far to see. We sit and wait. There's an uproar from them, that we can't fight anything half this size. "Some brave men you are! We will fight with honor." I look to James, securing my shield, and closing my helmet. "After you, my queen." I go for it. Charging at my death. I sought to take out their leader. My attempts bounce off. I am not as well with a sword, able only to defend myself. Knocking down a few, I tuck it into his holster. I don't dare look back at them. I begin to shoot again, feeling more comfortable. I am hit on my left side, I don't fall, but I can tell it is a gash. We go for hours, it seems never to end, an oncoming stream of war, more like an ocean. There are so many that if I am close enough, one arrow can shoot 3. Front through back. The leader seeks my attention taking his sword and waiting for an a available moment with me. I draw my sword again. We clash and bang. I get a few good hits but he is just as good, hitting the spots that are already bleeding. He swings at my face, it dents my mask into my skin. I lift it, exposing my face. He stops. Lifting his own mask and setting his weapon at rest.

"Charlotte?" "Father?" "May I ask, what you're doing leading a war?" he laughs. "He said you were dead.…" "Char? How did you get out here?" "I am his wife now dad, Loki. I am queen." "Why?" "I love him." "How could you?" "_I love him_." I repeat. "Given the choice to marry someone you can't stand or someone you love…I assure you I had no idea it'd cause all of this." I look behind me briefly. Seeing that the other parties had arrived. I also see that black horse and it's leader. "God damn." he of course comes up to me. "Loki, how did you not tell me?" he recognizes my father and his face grows stone cold. "Kill him." we stare at each other. "You kill him. Prove to me, you can rule beside me. Kill your enemy, Charlotte." I'd never heard him say my name. "Please" I beg. "Do it Charlotte." my father puts down his own weapon. "Go ahead." he says, practically urging me to kill him. "_My own father_?" I shake my head. He fumes. "You must, I cannot." I tell him, tears welling up in my eyes. "Prove to me you are worthy of the crown." he repeats. "Do you wish to make me angry?" "Charlotte, go." I lean forward. "Look him in the eye." he coaches me. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you." I make it quick, a stab to the neck, knocking him down. "There." I fight, crying, torn apart, letting my rage for him fuel me.

"Do you wish to sleep in my tent?" I shove past him. Taking my spot in the snow, where I deserve to sleep. Hopefully some animal comes along and decides I look appetizing. Hopefully it's small, and painful, like having your own child kill you. More painful than that. He comes up to me still on his horse. I stare it him from the ground. "You mustn't be so hard on yourself, it's done." "I hate you. I have your child. I'm killing it. Like you killed my father." I start to cry, he has no pity. "When you decide to be civil, come. Please." I lay there into the night. "He insists you come inside." "He may tell me himself." They begin to pick me up. "NO! I will not be manhandled by you!" I kick free, standing and walking towards the tent. I sit on the floor and curl up. "Kill me" I snarl. He looks at me. "Kill me, like you killed all those other people. You clearly are just as fond of them as you are of me. I was foolish to think for a moment that you genuinely cared. Kill me like you killed my father, kill me like I will kill your heir." "Heir?" "Oh yes. It's you or me Loki, who's going to hold the knife?" I begin to cry. "I will go to the other side and beg for them to kill me, or I'll go into the woods and slit my own throat." I rest my hand on my belt. "You bluff." he says. I take the dagger up to my neck. He nods, as if waiting for me to do it. I feel the blade on my flesh. He grabs my wrist. "You are not allowed. You ask me to treat you as an equal yet you must be watched at all times." "Please" I beg him "I beg of you, please, I can't suffer anymore. If you really loved me you would let me do this. My life is nothing to you." I cry from my knees. He snatches the knife from my hand. "_No. You're pathetic_." "You made me kill my own father! You started this war, you lied. Do whatever you'd like but I don't want to be alive to see it." he slaps me in the face. "_Pull yourself together_!" he growls through clenched teeth. "Loki!" I hold my hand to my face. I lay on the ground, sobbing.

I lay awake. He is sleeping, the dagger still in his hand. I stand slowly, walking through the entrance, Looking to slink into the woods. _"Get. Back."_ he sighs "What? Or you'll kill me?" I laugh. He pulls me onto the bed. "I should tie you to this bed." he laughs. I feel an oncoming headache. I look away from him, it gets worse. I cry out. It feels like the blood vessels in my brain are exploding. _"St- op._" I scream bloody murder, trying to push my way past him. I drop to my knees. "Say you're sorry" "I'm not!" Maybe he'll kill me. It gets worse until I shake uncontrollably. "I can leave you here all night." he says. "It might put some manners into you." he yanks me up onto the bed by the wrist. "All night." he repeats. It feels like I'm being burned at the stake. He leans over me, looking into my eyes. "You'll kill it! The baby!" I scream, thrashing. It stops. I stare at him, looking into his eyes, I shake still. "Baby?" "The doctor says I am pregnant." "Ah" he smiles, putting his head to my abdomen, focusing. "Yes." he says. "There's one in there. He doesn't like the headache much though." I curl up. "I wish to be rid of it."

"Charlotte" he says with that charming smile. "We cannot, we must keep him." "And when you said that I wouldn't have to birth your child… ?" "That was before this marvelous creature was conceived. Surely you'd be in favor of keeping a life?" he softly rests his hands on my shoulders, clearly looking to take back what he had done. "Not this life." he stares at me. "Unless you can promise me…?" "What! What?" "That you'll kill me, after it is born." "…I don't…" "Or I'll kill it. What's it worth to you Loki?" "Surely you'd want to mother the child?" "No, not at all. I told you I wanted none of it." "I think you'd be excellent." he looks away. "You care for me too? Well let me give you a lesson, you don't hurt the ones you love. You don't make them do things that hurt them, you don't hurt them for being upset. Surely you can find someone else to take care of him, if it is even a him, because I'm sure you don't even want to look at the child until he's old enough to go to war." "I won't let you kill it." "I want to die, after it is born, it is yours. You have your heir and the reaper has a new friend." "As you wish" I ache everywhere. I notice my side bleeding. "From the blood pressure." he says, ripping a shirt and wrapping it around me. "I can't breathe." I sprawl out, pushing him aside and getting on the floor. "You're quite fond of that floor aren't you." "Yes"

"Are you well enough to ride on your own?" "No." I thaw my fingers. "My bones ache. My head aches almost as bad as before." he sighs. "Well, you must ride with someone else then." "Okay." I'm surprised he didn't offer me a seat with him. I can tell he's anxious. I hold his future and I am ill. "We will go all the way through to get back." "For 2 days?" "Yes." I shake my head. He points to the man next to him. "Not him." "Who then?" I point to James. "He is a friend." he shrugs. I can tell he's jealous. "I am not. Go if you wish." his voice is meek. "Okay." I remember none of the day until it begins to grow dark. "Was I sleeping?" "Yes." Loki is to the side of us, I can tell he's listening even though the looks the other way. We see someone cut across far in front of us. He gives the men a signal to get them. "Just kill them!" he yells as he sees them coming back. As they approach closer, you can tell one is a child. The other, a woman holding a baby. I look at him. "Do not…" They are brought under us. The child begins to cry quietly and the mother looks at her feet. "What brings you across our path today?" "We live there, my lord." she points back into the woods. "I didn't hear you coming until it was too late, believe me." Why would he kill them? They did nothing. He stares at her. I stare at him. "Do not Loki, let them be." he clenches his fist, but then releases. "Very well then" she thanks me and scurries into the woods.

When it grows too cold, I request that we should stop. "It will warm up." he says. My hair is frozen, I can't move my fingers. There is frost on my legs. Mostly because I haven't moved. I struggle to breathe in the cold air. "Don't fall asleep" he says. "You will freeze to death." I lean forward onto him, he is warm. My jaw clatters against his shoulder. "I'm sorry." I say. "No, tis fine." he chuckles. "You better not let me die, he'll have it out for you." I laugh "You won't. We'll be home in another half day. It will be warm in the sunlight and maybe he'll let you eat." "So his precious spawn can live." "Did you tell him?" "That I wanted it gone, and of course it didn't happen that way. So I bargained with him." "For?" "When it is born, he must kill me." "That's preposterous!" "No, it's not like he has a soul anyways." "Why must you die?" "I don't want to live. My life promises nothing but destruction and heartbreak." "Surely you are willing to wait and see. Mother the child?" "I was promised there would be none." "Yet you engaged in such activities to create one?" "Not my best idea." "Clearly." "I am going to see if I can be rid of it. Somehow. Maybe he'll kill me." "You are mad! I thought you were smart? Why? He would slaughter you. Make you eat it or something while you bathed in a pool of acid and unborn children's blood." he laughs. "If I don't die out here anyways." "It will be okay. Just shortly the sun will come out and it will warm up." "Can you say I mysteriously fell off?" "No!" he laughs. "I don't want you to die! I've grown quite fond of you Miss Charlotte." I huff.

"Would you kill me if I asked you to?" "No." "Do you have a partner?" "A partner? No." "Have you ever felt love?" "I think, for a bit." he looks back at me "Why do you ask?" "I just want to be in love so badly. No matter if I am in love with death or pain. I want to give my soul to something and what more eternal and promising than death?" "We all die, don't you want to know that you did something before death?" "Like what? Slept with Satan? Murdered my father? Killed so many others with a family, children, a wife? Became betrothed to the man who plundered Asgard? Carried his offspring? I would say that is enough." he chuckles. "I suppose." Loki growls at us. When he looks forward I lean farther into him, hugging my arms around his waist. "You're freezing." "You don't say?" he looks back at us again. "You'd be wise to keep your hands off her." he takes my hands from his waist and puts them in my lap. "I'm literally turning into ice. Would you rather I sit with you? I would be happy to oblige. Dear." "Oh, I'm sure I'm not as good of company." he spits. "Are you embarrassed to have me sit with you?" I laugh. My throat burns. "No, but clearly you are quite fond of this gentleman." "No, I do enjoy his soul though. It's so curious that I chose to marry someone that has never seemed to have one. Oh wait…?" the men around us laugh to themselves. James hushes me. "Insults from such a small whore do not hurt me. Maybe I married you because I was fond of your other skills?" he laughs. They laugh. "Was that decision made before or after you broke my ribs?" "Before. It was finalized when I spit in your face and left you for dead. I like my whores to have a good taste of dirt." he flashes his white teeth.

"Loki, I think she is out of her head." I rest my head against him. I can't speak or move, I have horrible vertigo while my eyes are closed. I feel my heart in my chest. I can't feel anything except cold. "We'll stop then." we do stop from what I can tell. I must look unconscious. They pull me to the ground. "Char, can you hear me?" I search for something I can move. I just feel my heart. I fight against the crushing weight on top of me trying to move anything. I can't. "She can't be in the snow. Will you?" I assume he asks Loki. "You may." it's quiet except for footsteps and the wind. "It doesn't look like she's breathing." Loki says. "She isn't." "Is she dead?" Buried alive. The image flashes in my head. I can't be buried alive. "Possibly. Look how pale she is." I hear a bunch of rustling and chatter. I feel a hand on my face. It's warm, it almost burns. "My god. She's colder than it is out here." I hear him growl. "Find some water for her then, someone!"

"She's just frozen. She'll be fine, might miss a few fingers or a nose, but she'll live." "And the child?" "Hopefully fine as well." he almost chuckles in relief. "You need to find her new clothes and hot water, some blankets." "Okay." "This is your wife, you say? The queen?" "Yes." "Boy, did you pick one with some attitude to her." "Oh yes. But she has a great sense of intelligence. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." the doctor laughs. I can tell James is smiling. "All the power to you then." He exits and they sit looking over me. "Would you like to do it in your own company?" "What?" "Undress her." If my blood could rush to my cheeks. "I suppose. Look to some blankets will you?" "Yes." "Come in." he sits. "How does she feel?" "I can't feel heat. It all feels warm to me." "Really?" I can actually feel his hand at my cheek. "A bit better. Maybe you could've kept her like an ice cube until we got back and dropped her in the tub." they laugh. I feel something warm on my neck. The heat grows, until it seers my skin. "You didn't redress her?" "There was nothing else here. The blankets are cover enough for now."

I frequently feel James' hand on my face, or the weight of an extra blanket over me. I feel him rest his hand in mine. "You're quite fond of her aren't you?" Loki asks. He kind of snorts. "Be honest." he laughs. "It is no matter to me." "I suppose." "She's much better looking when she isn't covered in filth too." he laughs. "She has a way about her…" "She does, very confident, and smart, she defends herself." "Yet she is still caring and loving. Sort of soft." "I think she would make a great mother. She has already gone where no queen before her dare go." I begin to forget they are talking about me. "She feels for you." "Me?" "Yes. I can tell." "…I'm sorry, I…" "No, no. It's okay." he laughs. I feel sleepy, still in this daze.

I wake up, it's not really much different than sleep. I have feeling now, I can feel the material of the blankets on my bare skin and how rough his hand is. I feel colder, it's almost unbearable. "Her pack." I hear it hit the floor. He gets up to leave. "You may stay." he says. "Are you sure?" "What is a naked woman among gentleman?" they chuckle. It gets colder as he peels the blankets back. I am beyond embarrassed. I like to fend for myself. I don't like to be helpless, and more than anything I wouldn't care to be naked. His hands are icy. They burn more than the heat. It feels better to be dressed. "Beautiful, isn't she?" God, why doesn't he just show my unconscious body off to all of Asgard. "Yes." he lays me back down. "May I ask you something? Out of pure curiosity?" "Shoot" "Pardon me for asking, but if it were not for the child would you still be here?" "I would come around to it. I don't feel like I could do her any help. She wants to die at my hands, so I wouldn't care to see it." "Do you love her?" "Yes. But my love is different than yours. At least you could keep her warm." he is jealous. "I don't know how to be someone's husband." "But you could learn." "She hates me anyways. I did almost kill her a few times." "Would you feel bad?" "Oh yes." "You just need to romance her. Let her fall in love with who you are." "A heartless monster?" he laughs. "So be it! Just show her you care. Be romantic." "How do you do that?" "Say 'I care about you'. You don't lay her, but show her passion. Women love that. I don't know how caring you can get as king but just, just impress her with your love." "Do that cuddling thing you mean?" "Sure. Whatever she likes."

I stir. It catches me off guard when my fingers move and my legs stretch. "Char?" I can't speak yet, but I blink up at them. I wave. "Hi. You really froze." I nod slowly, feeling all the muscles in my neck creak. I reach for Loki's hand and he pulls it away. James eyes him, he puts it back in mine. I have the sudden urge to have him close to me. Not like I forgive him, but something just makes me want his company. "Me, I'm cold?" I nod, smiling. He doesn't know what to do. I look up at James. "She says thank you." "You read minds?" he nods. I reach my other hand on his arm and try to coax him closer to me. I can't quite bend my fingers yet. James simply waves goodbye and exits. "You really can't!" he laughs. I beg him, smiling at him, and twirling my hair. He lays on the floor, on his back, far away from me. I lift the blankets, trying to kick out of the heavy pile. I crawl up to him, now looking over him instead. "I'll leave!" I lay down next to him, ignoring his threat. His armor doesn't feel much colder than I already do. I put my arms around him as he lays stiff as a board. I bury my face in his neck. "It's really, improper to be-" I am still angry at him, but lonely and cold. I beg him to put his arms around me, he does no such thing. I pull the blankets over us. He squirms. "No, no, it's not you…I'm sorry." I take my blankets back and roll in them, putting my nose to the floor. "I'll be back. Sleep."

Each time I wake I seemed to be getting warmer. It's a good feeling. I open my mouth to speak, it makes a sound. Not words. The sound shuts on and off as I attempt to form a sentence. I hear James laugh. I remember I can't talk to him. He comes up to me and places his hand to my forehead. "Better, much better." I sit up. "Are you hungry?" I shake my head. "You should eat." I imitate me puking. "Well, you'll never know if you don't try." I shrug. "Loki left you huh?" I nod, looking down at my hands. "Poor fellow. Doesn't know how to love. Not just physically, I think he's confused. He wants to. Do you know what happened to him, that made him this way?" I shake my head. "Right, and even if you did you couldn't tell me." we laugh. I reach for his hand to get up, he let's go. "Just relax while you can." he gets up. I shake my head frantically. "I'll be right back. I promise." he smiles at me and my heart melts. I feel awful, damn my heart for being this way. I want to cry. Why can't he just be caring? I wouldn't need anyone else. I don't know how to cope with really loving a perfect man while another with no heart is supposedly in love with me. I'll never be with him, but I can't tell my heart no. As promised, he returns. I stick my finger in the cup. It is hot water. I take a few sips. He rolls his eyes. "Come on Char." I eat a little bit of bread and take some more water. "How are you not starving?" I look at him. His warm brown eyes, charming smile covering perfect teeth, his tanned skin, his dark hair. He is prince charming. My stomach gets the butterflies. I curse to myself.

He eventually lets me up onto my feet. I lace up my boots and do my hair. I struggle with the laces, my fingers still coming back to me. He gets down on one knee and slaps my hand away, staring up at me. "There you are." I walk out and everyone is staring at me. "What, never seen a woman before?" he laughs. "She's been resurrected from the dead." I go into Loki's tent. He stands in the corner over a map. "Hi, good to see you're up and about." I nod. I motion for James to come in. Loki starts talking about the plan and whatnot and James yanks on my braid behind my back. I turn around to yell at him and nothing comes out. They laugh hysterically. "I like her better this way." he says. "At least you don't have to listen to what she's thinking!" I slap him and put my hair over my shoulder.

"Can we leave!" "We are, you're going in the back." "Ughhh!" "What if something happens to you?" James says "Can I just please stay with you." "Leave the men to do their work." Loki smiles. I grind my teeth. "Please. What if, something does happen and you aren't there?" "No. The sooner you stop, the quicker we get there." "I'm going to get up there with you whether you like it or not." "I'll just have you go with someone else then." he crosses his arms. "Do you have my horse?" "Yes." "Please Loki, I'll be quiet the whole way." I put my hands on his neck and stare up at him "You're like a child!" he pushes me away, laughing. I pout. "Go find the horse." "Someone come with me." I say, sounding slightly disappointed. "Suddenly you require assistance with everything?" James laughs. They look at each other "We'll both accompany you, little girl." "You are so funny, my, what comedians." we walk through the camp. "Nice girlfriend James!" they taunt him. We all laugh. I fly them the bird. "What a lady." Loki laughs. "I have to defend myself somehow, it's not like you have the upmost sense of chivalry." he grabs my hand. I wink at him. "I think that's him." I point to a horse laying in the grass. James stays back as I pull Loki along with me. "Go on then." "I'm scared." I laugh. He now tugs me along, approaching him. "You left the tack on him?" he asks. "When I slept. Yes." he is not the least bit humble and the horse stands, questioning his presence. He comes up to him. "Watch yourself." he continues his stride up to the creature, getting into his space. As I expect, he gets on his hind legs. I lunge in front of him, staring the horse in the eye. "Down." I growl, praying that this is Achilles.

He does get down. I walk up to him. "Good boy. I missed you." I pet him and hug my arms around him, tugging on the stirrup with my foot and mounting him. He neighs. "Well, I'll be damned, she made friends with the animal too." "She doesn't miss me, but she misses the horse." he laughs. "Oh yeah, we're good ol' pals aren't we boy." I coo. I walk back with them. I can tell he's embarrassed to be seen with me above him. Everyone lines up and we are at the side. James whispers in Loki's ear something I don't catch. He comes up to me, seeming a bit fidgety. He motions for me to lean into him to tell him something, I do. He kisses me softly on the lips, intertwining his fingers in my hair. He lets go, seeing that I am pleased. I beam at him. He returns that same smile. "Don't get yourself into trouble." I nod. He turns back. "I'm glad you're okay Charlotte."


	6. Blue In the Face

The ride back is easy, light and warm. We arrive back in what seems to be no time. He is missing, so I leave my things in the barn and go looking for him. "Have you seen Loki?" they point me up into his quarters which I could've figured. "Hello?" he must be in the shower or something. I don't want to dirty the bed so I lay sit on the floor and remove my layers. He comes out dressed. "Hi, when did you arrive?" "Oh, moments ago. I came looking for you." he gives me his hand. "You must see the doctor tonight." "Okay." I get up onto my feet. "I promise you I'll keep it safe until it is born." he nods. "I don't forgive you." I stare at my feet. "I know. That's mine to fix. Go on, shower, get a good meal." he kisses me and I dodge it. He pushes me towards the bathroom. I don't want to ever leave the shower. The shower is my love now. I love to shower, and going a week without one was horrible. I feel a million times better when I emerge, maybe an hour later, my skin scrubbed red. I dress and come down the stairs, not sure I know where I am. I see someone walking towards me. "Excuse me do-…Hi!" I of course run into James. "I saw you but I figured it'd be improper to approach you." "Not improper to me! Back to work already? All of you guards look the same, my god." "Yes. No where else to go." "You have somewhere, to dinner with us." he rolls his eyes. "I can't." "You certainly can." "Char… it's a bit strange. Me sitting at your table." "No." I argue with him. "They talk, of us. As a couple." I roll my eyes. "So they talk. You are sitting at our table with me and my husband as a friend. You and I both know we are not infidels. Come." he begins to walk the other way. "Queens orders." I smile. "Unless you don't want to come to dinner with me at all, in which case, you go…" I laugh. "No, no. That sounds good." he turns back. "_Plus_, I have no clue where I am going." we laugh.

"Loki, do you mind?" I motion to James. He shakes his head. "Thank you sir." he is suddenly less confident. I wait for him to sit, sitting on the opposite side of him. I don't like to sit in my 'rightful' spot while we eat alone. It's much too bleak to stare out across the empty table. We eat. Loki is a man a few words in company, and not in company. Not used to having this much food in my stomach, it makes me feel a bit queasy. They offer me another plate "No, no thank you." I decide to be extremely rude and rest back onto the chair. "Excuse me." I stand from the table. "Reminds me of when we first met." he laughs. I roll my eyes. "A bit, yes." I walk down the walls dragging my fingers onto the drapery. "Beautiful shoes dear." I am barefoot. I giggle "Goodnight." "I'll be up later, the doctor will be up. I have some things to see to. Goodnight." "Goodnight James, thank you for coming to dinner." "Thank you, my queen." he says just to be a cheese ball. "Really, Char." I laugh.

The doctor confirms what I already know. I'm sure Loki will order me to stay in bed. Which just might kill me in itself. He wants this child. I cry for a bit until I hear him in the room. He gets next to me. "Don't be upset, it's only 4 months." "Is there some way to speed it up." I laugh through tears. "I'm afraid not." he sincerely hugs me, like I had wished for before. I hug him back. "We, we need to talk. About this, and me…" "You?" I look up at his stone face, he stares straight at the wall. He has the expression of a general. "You see, just recently, I discovered something about myself, that I am different. I come from…others."

"You are adopted then?" "Well, yes but that's not the kicker." I wait. "I am… _Jötunn_." my first reaction is to laugh. "You aren't serious?" he looks a bit hurt. "I am." I watch in horror as his arms turn a dark shade of cerulean blue. I free myself from his grasp, in shock. His eyes are demon red. I scream, frantically getting off the bed. "Loki…" "Odin took me from Jöntunheim, in the war. I am the same as the ones he destroyed, I am a monster. I have been lied to, and now I seek my vengeance on the throne." I can't breathe. "That night, I proposed our marriage, I discovered what I truly am." I draw a blank at functioning. "The child, I think he may be part frost giant." I scream again, not sure what else to do. "I know. I didn't know how to tell you." I sit on the edge of the bed. I mutter words in confusion, jumbled. A few minutes later I come back up to him and sit a few feet away. He stares at his hands in shame. "May I, touch you?" I ask more curious now than horrified. He nods slightly. I hesitantly lean forward and reach my fingers towards him, my finger tips just barely brush his skin. He stares at me, blinking and licking his lips, waiting for some kind of reaction. His skin is frigid, it sparkles like snow or ice when the light catches it the right way. He looks much different than the frost giants I had heard of, he had retained his beauty. I unconsciously allow my fingers to crawl up his shoulder onto his face until our eyes meet. "It's beautiful." I whisper. He laughs in disgust, his skin washing over white and his eyes turning blue. "This is not beauty, it's cruel. I am a monster!" "I am not afraid of you, you are not a monster, you are civil, you are different." he slaps my hand away. "What about the child? If he's born blue?" "So be it! It's not my problem. If you think yourself such a monster why did you look to make a child so soon?" "I don't know.… how old are you?" "20." I sit on my respective side of the bed. "I was lied to, as Thor shoved me aside all these years, and I am not even their real child! I was just kept as some game!" "I am sure you meant more to them, they did raise you, yes?" "Yes, as Odin slaughtered my own." "He didn't mean for it to happen this way.…" "I did too, Thor did, we shot at them like wild birds, and yet I don't feel a hint of sorrow, they are monsters. Like me." "I am sorry." I can tell he had already thought about it, it just looked as if he was sad, looking on the past. "Don't you dare tell me you don't care that I am, this." "I don't think less of you. I swear." "**_You lie!_**" he screams, grabbing my arm and throwing my body under his. His hands grip my arms and dig into my skin. He stares at me, his breathing heavy, his nostrils flared. Looking like he could kill me. I am afraid, not for my life, just afraid. I don't dare move. "I tell the truth." he just stays there, for so long I think he's dead. I begin to shake, my body tired and terrified. His grip grows tighter, more painful. He doesn't blink.

He releases me and gets back into bed like nothing had happened. I begin to cry, not because I am hurt. My body is on edge, shaking still, I realize I have a great fear of someone inflicting death on me. I try to be quiet. It only intensifies the sobs. I am not upset, but I can't pull myself together. He sighs. "Did I scare you a bit dear?" I nod into the pillows. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." I feel his hand on my back and I turn away.

The next month is not as bad as expected. I make sure I get my meals on my own and shower each day. I am easily tired. Sometimes I go out onto the field with Achilles and shoot. This is only when he's gone all day, sometimes he catches me. "Your baby will be a weakling." I tell him. He hosts so many meetings I grow tired of attending, and other times I don't. It usually goes late into the night and is no fun with nothing to drink. I am responsible for a bunch of Ladies parties which I hate. All the ladies hate me. I think they look to poison my drink. They are nothing like friends or acquaintances, only snarky women who see fit to question our rule and insult me as if I care. The rest of the days are spent on the throne, listening to nonsense and his stern rule, which he knows I think is unfair. We have fun with each other, as much as we can, laughing and joking. He loosens up around me.

"Must I go to this?" "Yes, and look your best. They are quite fond of you Char. It won't be that bad." "Fond of me? Why? I hardly speak." "They enjoy your looks." I sigh. "I am tired, I am always tired. Must I grace the room with my 'looks'?" "I insist. There's going to be a lot of people there." "All the better!" I laugh. "God, after you kill me you must find someone who enjoys these things." he looks back at me like I should not have mentioned it. "When's the last time you had a glass of wine Charlotte?" "Oh a while." he knows I want one desperately. Not for the alcohol, just to taste. "You may have one after dinner if you come." "Oh, you bribe me!" I giggle. "Maybe I could come. If you won't leave me, let me stay on your arm. I don't like to be approached alone." "I enjoy how you choose to be shy selectively." he chuckles, fixing his tie. "I could do that." "Very well. I shall come with my looks." "I expect to see you dressed to your potential for that glass of wine." he winks at me.

"You can't wear that." "Is it too young for me?" "You'd look like a well dressed harlot." she laughs "No. I'm just nervous how it will look with the bump." "Please! You're as thin as can be." "I'm going to try it." I slip into it, thankful there's no zipper, missing the security of a tightly laced corset at my waist. "I think you look wonderful." "Very well then." I do my hair, growing tired of a braid. It lays plainly at my back. "May I?" I nod. She twists the top pieces into her fingers and ties them back. I do my own makeup, almost forgetting how. The unfamiliar feel of it on my face bugs me. "I am so pale!" I put the crown on my head like he'd taught me. I am not satisfied with my hair now. I pick the pieces up twisting and pulling, curling pinning. I nod, happy. I walk out onto the hall, looking if he'd gone in, regretting taking this long for I'd have to be announced separately. "My lady…?" I look back. "Yes dear?" "Shoes?" I laugh. "Yes, yes."

I walk down the stairs looking not to be noticed. I am granted no such luck. "Hello, my queen." my selective shyness kicks in. I wave back. I see him in front of the doors. He must've heard me coming because I grab his arm and he doesn't look at me, only straight forward. We walk in and are announced, as if he needed an announcing. He stops and breaks his straight face for a small grin. He waits until the attention is taken from us to glance at me. My gown is off white, fitted enough but flowing, trimmed in gold fabric up to the neck. The back is bare, cut low and laced in the gold material. It's a bit slutty for my taste but I suppose it showcases these 'looks' he speaks of. "My, I best keep you on my arm." he smiles. "Is it too much?" I scrunch up my nose. "No, just right." He walks and talks. I distinctly remember Odin sitting and others coming up to him. He doesn't even introduce me, figuring I would like it that way. They eye me still, looking me up and down. "Talk a bit. I know you're capable." I lean to him more, my glance telling him how miserable I am. "They don't think badly of you, they are just…they find you attractive." "I don't see why you choose to play me off as such an item." "Are you uncomfortable?" "A bit. I'm sick, morning sickness, but most of all I just don't like being treated as your ornament. That's not true, it's just how I feel. I'm not up for this sort of thing lately so you'll have to excuse me." He puts his hand on my back. "If you wish to sit…" "No, it's fine."

The next man we meet is rather large, big and tall, his wife looks young, small and blonde. She looks frail, her spirit is broken. He says he is a general, that he had fought in battle. I'm not really listening for I am a bit disgusted at how he looks at me. He licks his lips and lets go of his wife, putting his hands in his pockets. Not once does he look away from my body, not at my face, or at him when he speaks. Loki looks at him, listening. I know he can tell what he's thinking and that it's not pleasing to him. "Pleasure to meet you." he offers no response, only a cold glare. "That filthy animal." I mutter. I realize that is the man who attempted to kill me. He must not have made the connection for I would expect much nicer. "Men with thoughts like that for any woman should be castrated." he laughs. "I was actually a bit mortified. And that takes talent." "I have come in contact with him before." "You have?" he asks with interest. "Him and his knife, at my throat. When he took me for a fool and I showed him what I was made of. Let's just say there was an incident with some names and I cleared it up only to find his claws where they had no business…that was also cleared up." "It will be crystal clear later." he pronounces. "He beats her?" "The wife? Yes." "Poor thing." I stare at her from a distance. "He still thinks of you." he chuckles in disgust.

We sit to eat and I pick at my dish. "It's unlike you to refuse dinner… no harm meant." "No, just not feeling up to par." "Half the men at this table are thinking of you. You are no ornament, you hold your own." he let's out a sharp laugh. I yawn. "Excuse me." I set my fork down. "Just think. An hour or two and you can have your wine and go up to bed." he teases. "I want to wait for you to come up. Maybe more than one glass?" "Possibly." Course after refused course, dinner seems to be at it's end. I feel something cold at my back and I sit stiff. "You're staring." "Sorry." " At this point I'm tired of being here, not in bed and if he'd let me I'd go by myself. "The baby is tired." I joke. "Well, he must learn perseverance." he kisses my nose. "Can you get her some wine?" he asks the servant behind him. "Yes sir." he watches carefully as the man pours the glass, sticking his finger in the cup first and tasting it. "Poison…there is none, but I was checking." I smile, taking a sip, looking at my lipstick on the rim. It is stronger than I remembered. Every bit as rewarding as I hoped it would be. "Worth it?" "Yes." I hold the glass out to him. "To things to come." "To things to come." we toast. "For a pregnant woman that refused dinner, you really are enjoying that." "I am." people begin to leave and it seems only polite to thank them for coming, so I do, with my glass in hand. I see Loki talking to the scumbag, dragging him out the back by the neck. I leave my post and set my glass down, feeling already a bit tipsy. I creep into the hall, behind a column. "Listen you piece of shit, you so much as think those things about my wife or any woman again and I'll be after you." he smirks, the man drops to his knees. "I should kill you for touching her." he cries out, it echoes off the hall. "I should give you what you deserve, violating a woman like that, harassing her? What kind of man are you? What kind of man beats his wife? You aren't a man, you are a coward." he begins to shake. "It hurts yes?" he groans. "You are free." he stomps off.

"Another?" "Should I?" "I'd give you the bottle if I knew you'd be this happy." he laughs, taking the glass and pouring me another overly full one. I take a small sip. "Do you know when you're drunk your thoughts slur too?" "Do they?" "Yes. It's a bit peculiar." "Mhmn." "Take the glass up to bed?" he looks at me with soft eyes. "Unless, you are too drunk to do that, then I'll take it for you." I giggle, walking toward the doors. I put my weight on the railing, dragging myself up the steps. He braces the glass with his own hand, slipping it through my fingers. He pulls the door open. "That must've been quite potent." "I'll say." I sit at the edge of the bed, drinking my wine in euphoria. I move to the couch. He sits next to me. "Didn't anyone ever teach you it's wrong for a lady to be so drunk in front of men." he laughs. "Yes, but I know that any wrong 'll do to me already has been done." I hiccup. I scratch my fingers against the fine pattern of the material. I hiccup again and he grabs the glass from me, clearly amused that I'm too drunk to hold anything in my hand. "Enough with this." he gives me his hand to stand as I slide out of the gown. I crawl into bed, my hips grinding against the mattress. "Not on your stomach." he warns. I flop onto my back. It makes a loud crack "Mother-" he laughs from the end of the bed at what a wreck I am from my 2 glasses of wine. "Sleep with me Loki." I giggle. "I am dear." "Noooo I mean fuckme." "Pardon?" he laughs, knowing what I had said. "Fuck me" "I don't sleep with ladies that have such sailor mouths." he says for the satisfaction of denying me what I desperately crave. "Good night."

"No no, it had to be my breakfast. My dinner was too small." "What was it?" "Wine." I mutter over the bowl, knowing she'd beat me silly. "Wine! Does he know?" "Yes, it was a bribe for my attendance." I laugh. "It's not funny! You kids are insane! No wonder you are leaning over the toilet." she drops my hair over my face. "Oh relax!" "When you have a stillborn you won't be laughing. I don't suppose you've been taking your vitamins?" "I have vitamins?" "Yes! Odin's beard!" I brush my teeth. "God, you know nothing of being a mother." "No, I do not. And I intend to know no more than the minimum." "Excuse me?" "Arrangements have been made so that the child will not be in my care." I spit into the sink. She groans. "Are you going to eat anything else?" "No." "Get back into bed then indigent girl." "I am not indigent. Do you see me crying for your help?" "The child is. You should be feeding yourself 3 square meals a day." she huffs, picking up the clothes off the floor, even though I'm sure that is not her job. "Tell me, how was Fricka when she was expecting?" "Oh, ecstatic, she did everything she was told and more. Of course she was a lady and knew it was her duty to birth the child. She loved him dearly from the moment he was born. She was not nearly as wild as you, she didn't dare question Odin." "May I ask you something slightly private?" "I suppose…" "How did she treat Loki?" "As she treated Thor. He was her son too, you know he is…?" "Different, yes." "3 more months and you will see what kind of mother you are." I laugh to myself. "Yes." I rest my hands on my stomach. "Juice?" "No thank you… well maybe, yes, yes please." We laugh.

"Charlotte?" "Yes dear? I'm in here!" I call from the bathroom. "Oh, do you want the nurse?" "No, it's been going on all day. How was your day?" "Fair." "Good." "Yours?" "Spent lurched over the toilet." "I'm sorry." "I'll be out in a minute, let me just change." He takes the helmet off his head, putting it on the table. "Come here" I step towards him. "Change." he waits patiently. I do. "I wanted to see how you look." "The prognosis is…?" "Pregnant" he smiles that shit eating grin. "Good, the sooner I can pop this thing out the better." "You're anxiously awaiting that aren't you?" "Slightly, yes." "I meant to speak to you about that." "Well we are both here." we walk out into the room, climbing into the stark white sheets. "Well, what if I couldn't kill you?" "Couldn't? On what account?" "That I could not muster such courage." I laugh. "Loki, I don't mean to insult you, but you are you. You mercilessly slaughter people every day." "But you're the only one I care about." I gawk at him and blush. "Think of how much better it will be ruling alone." "Not as good as with you." "You lie." "No." I lay down.

"I can hear you Char." "Great." "I can hear what you're imagining." "Share with me?" "It must be your hormones." he laughs. "Oh really?" "That happens when you're like this. Angry and pregnant." I sit up, leaning onto his shoulder. "What do you intend to do about this?" I whisper in his ear. "I have something in mind." he whispers back. I feel his hand rub my thigh. "God I can't. I'll puke." "No, I'll be easy." he kisses me. I moan, reaching for his pants. He takes my hand away. "For you only." I lay on my stomach and he rubs me back. He knows when it's too much or to push harder. "Thank you." his hands are strong. I get up figuring I could go to bed. He laughs, having me straddle his lap. "I really don't f-" "Shhhh trust me." he starts to kiss me again, taking my nightclothes off. "_Mmmmmm_." he smiles, his thumbs grazing my breasts. He takes one hand between my legs, gently teasing. "You big tease." "Oh but you like it." he keeps going "Tell me how it feels." "_So…go- good._" I whimper, now leaning against his chest. He chuckles with satisfaction. I reach for the waistband of my panties. I feel him shake his head. "Wait." he orders. "Please" I beg. "Wait." he kisses my neck, bringing me up with his fingers. I run my hands up and down his chest to keep my self busy. He brings my hand down on his lap. I feel myself dripping, literally dripping. He smiles "Look at you." "You're good." I laugh. He rips the panties off of me. "Now comes the real fun." he still teases, running his fingers around the edge. I can't help but moan. He goes so slow. I sit flat, trying to force his fingers into me, not being able to contain myself. He lays his hand flat, clearly unsatisfied with my hastiness. He whacks me. "It doesn't pay to be so sensitive down there does it?" I get back up on my knees. He slaps me again, having more room, it stings. "How does it feel?" he asks again. "Painful. _Very painful_." I cry. "Good." he lets me kiss him again. "Back up so I can see your face." "Yes sir." I put my hands on his muscular shoulders, putting myself farther back.

"It's beautiful how submissive you get when you're…_wet_." he does the same motions again until I cry in agony. "It almost hurts to be teased this much. Doesn't it?" "Yes!" I feel his finger suddenly violate me, twisting inside me. "Thank you!" I scream. His thumb touches my clit. I have my first orgasm. "Oooh a weakling." he laughs in delight, taking his finger out. He adds another and it hurts. My hips grind in defense, making my battle worse. "We're going to have to loosen you up somehow for that baby sweetheart." he says evilly. He adds another finger. "God you're tight." I scream in response. He brutally pleasures me. My eyes roll back in my head. I grind deeper onto his fingers. He nods, pleased at my reaction. "Cum again." he growls. "Cum for me Char." I try my hardest not to, just to spite him for causing me pain. He uses his other hand to rub my clit. "Here…it, co- COMES!" his fingers hit that spot, he knew where it was all along. "Oh yes! Ohhhh." I cry. He takes his fingers out and I fall back, my knees knocking and my eyes watering. I curl back up on him. "You're great." I tell him. "So are you." I reach for my shirt and he tosses it aside. "Stay like this." "Okay." he pulls the covers over me, kissing the top of my head. "Do you feel better now?" "Yes, much better." I fall asleep in his arms.

I'm gently awakened. "Charlotte dear, come on, rise and shine." it's the nurse. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this one. I pull the covers over me. "I am tired still." "He said not to disturb you so I waited. Come on then." "Please let me rest, I feel so weak." "Come to breakfast then and we'll get you back in bed." "I'll be down in a minute." "Do you want me to bring your plate up?" "Please, if it's no bother." "No" her eyes catch my clothes on the side of the bed. "Ahhh, I see." she laughs. "Dress and I'll be back in a minute with your breakfast." I search for something else to wear, pulling it on and jumping back into bed. I really don't feel so well, I have a headache and my back is sore. "Thank you." she hands me the dish. "Eat slow." I do, taking my time to chew each bite, set my fork down, and take a sip of juice. It is to no avail as I end up puking it up anyhow. "Is this morning sickness?" "Yes. You have it badly." I take it upon myself to skip lunch and take only a bottle of water to dinner. "Sick again?" I nod. "You could've rested upstairs." "I haven't been down all day, and I wanted to be polite to these gentleman. Plus, I wanted to see you." I smile. He pulls my chair close to his, so that you could only see him putting his hand on my back if you were beside us. "My, have I turned you into a softy?" "A softy?" he laughs "For you only."

I have discovered that I am exceptional in the art of doing things I'm told not to do. In my 3rd month of pregnancy I grow bored of having no company, as he is away and I asked not to go with him. So I walk out on the hills, enjoying the spring weather and the fresh air. Until, of course, I pass by the barn and I decide it'd be a good idea to go in. The smell makes me ill. I search for the man who's name has now escaped me. That seems to happen when you're pregnant. It's like you're lucky if your mind can hold one thought at a time without getting confused. "What a surprise! How are you Queen Charlotte?" I have settled on this, I choose not to fool around with that 'Your majesty' 'My liege' business that Loki seems to be fond of. I don't care, for in some respects I think myself no higher than them. "Well, thank you, yourself?" "Well also thanks. Came to see your horse?" "I think." I laugh. "…Do you think I could ride him?" he raises his eyebrows. "Are you sure it's safe?" "If I'm careful. Just don't tell Loki." I smile at him devilishly. "I suppose, but if he finds out, I said no." "You have my word." we shake on it. "I would feel better if you came out with me." "I would as well. It's funny, as it seems he's picked up your sense of humor and you've become the goddess of mischief." I laugh, clutching my stomach. I walk back, searching for him. Listening for the racket that he seems to constantly stir up. "Hi!" he stops, trying to recognize me. "Hi big boy." I open the door and look for his tack, straining to reach over him. "Are you going to be good for me?" I struggle to put my leg over the other side with my stomach in the way. It doesn't help that I can't stop laughing. It seems like he's laughing at me too.

The weather is beautiful, I miss being out here and wish I could find the energy to come out more often. "Do you know if the child is a boy or girl?" "Boy" "You must not have long left?" "A bit more than a month." "Hm. Are you excited?" "I'm not sure." I laugh. "I'm sure he'll be great." "You think?" "Yes" I yawn. "My wife had a baby, she loved her so much. She was the light of our lives." I look at him, questioning. "She fell ill, of the whooping cough and passed when she was 2" "I'm so horribly sorry." "You go through 5 months of hell, but it's worth it when you hold that tiny thing in your arms." "Hm." "She's a big fan of yours." he laughs. "Fan of me?" "Yes, she's always so interested you. The people of Asgard hate Loki, but they love you. She always is asking about you, 'Oh you saw her today, what was she wearing?' I'm pretty sure if you had a fan club, she would lead it." he laughs. "Oh that is too precious!" We ride for a while, slowly, until I decide to pick up the pace. He stops suddenly and I slip, it wasn't much of a fall compared to the spills I'd taken off him. It's slow, and I land on my back. I can tell I'm fine immediately. The horse looks down in pity like he knows he's hurt me. The first words out of my mouth are _"Don't. Tell. Loki._" I get up and get back in as if nothing had happened, because it was really nothing. He stares at me the whole way, twitching at my every move.

"Are you sure you're fine?" "I'm sure." I start walking back. "Thank you, it was fun. Tell your wife I said hello." the walk to return always seems longer than the walk there. I rest my hands on my back. I still feel him kicking in there. "Char?" I turn, unsure of who it is, my eyes still adjusting to being inside. "James! Good to see you." I hug him. Pregnant hugs are no good. "How is it?" "What him?" "Yes, pardon me, him." "Well." "I accompanied Loki in his travel, he should be back later." "Okay." "Can we talk?" "Yes." he looks around, leaning down to me. "We were talking, and I well, sort of begged him not to kill you." I look at him with pity. He twisted himself into thinking this is Loki's idea, and that he wants to kill me. I am shocked he took responsibility for it, it seemed too kind for him, to spare another mans soul of heartbreak. "What did he say?" "That he was a man of his word, and he looks not to be rid of the cards he has been dealt." Looking at him, he looks broken, like that woman at the party, his soul shattered. All his bravery and confidence seemed to be overtaken by sad. He was slumpy and grey looking. "James, what is it to you?" I look up at him. "I love you Charlotte." oh god. I put my hand to my face. "Run away with me after the child is born. It doesn't have to end this way…" "Don't do this to me!" "You don't have to live like this…" "Like what? As queen? Married to my husband?…In love? You are mistaken." I do love James, with everything I have. But Loki is my husband, and I love him too, I have fallen in love with the idea that I'll be put out of any misery to come. And I am most in love with that. I can't bear the heartbreak to tell him it is destined to end this way. "It is okay. This is how it must go."

"Run away and we'll be happy, you'll bare none of my children. We can live the life you always wanted to. I'll care for you, we can be in love…like you wanted." "That is but a dream now, this is the life I must live." "So short and full of pain? What, another month? You'll be buried in the ground Char. I can't let him kill you." my heart is breaking listening to his pleas. It seems so tempting, yet I want death more. "He's tricked you into being okay with this, he is not a real man. He is a snake. He's used you as his breeding slave._ Charlotte…!"_ he cries, begging me to offer him something. I put my finger to his lips. "If you talk of this so loudly they'll behead you! It is not safe to run away, what happens when he kills you and I am left alone?" "But then you are free. I can't stand to see you murdered by this monster. They say he isn't even of Asgard." "He is not a monster. He is strict to his people, too strict, but he is not a monster." "He is to you, I watched him beat you that night, I watched those men almost kill you." "He doesn't know better, that is how he feels." "So that makes it okay then, that he does it? He screws you, then beats the shit out of you, and you lay there like a good bitch, birthing his child for all your life! That is it!" he wipes the tears of rage off his face with his hands. "Yes, it is. If you'll excuse me…" I begin to walk off. "I'll go with you then, I'll try guilty to something, I'll be with you Charlotte." I begin to cry "Why must you do this to me? Why? Why can't you understand that this is what has to happen! It is cruel to offer such things for you know I can't take them." "Do you love me?" "Yes" I whisper. "Run away with me now then, and if they kill us, we are together. If you have the baby we'll leave it. It won't be yours." "I promised it to him." "Like he promised you wouldn't have one." he chuckles smugly through tears. "Well that is not his fault, per say." "What's it going to be? Are you going to waste away as his whore or come with me?" _"I look not to be rid of the cards I've been dealt._"

I walk down the corridor, seeing no one, I sit in the corner behind the back entrance to the kitchen. People stream back and forth but no one sees me. I bury my face in my hands, letting my tears spill. Cursing god for this unfair dilemma, where there really was none at all. "Charlotte! I've been looking all day for you… Oh dear, what happened?" "Nothing." I stand and she wipes my running mascara. "Come on." she leads me up the stairs. _"You, you ca-, can't… tell Lo- Loki._" I'm shaking "Okay, let's just relax. Breathe, that's it." My back aches now, it feels bruised. _"Ca- n you, ge get me some ice…p, please._" "Yes! Of course!" she sits next to me on the bed, resting her hand on my back. "Are you crying because you're hurt?" I shake my head. "Your heart hurts?" I nod. "That's the worst kind." I lay back on the bed, my state of being not permitting me to climb back into all of the covers. "He's coming home soon, wash your face and lay in bed. Maybe you'll feel better." she hands me a glass of water and some ice. "Thank you." "Yes Ms. Charlotte." she smiles at me.

"Coming to dinner?" he kisses my forehead. He is becoming good at this being a softy thing. Maybe it's because I hold his precious cargo. "No, I'm not feeling so well. I've missed you." "Have you? I'll miss your company. I'll call in the nurse to help you." "No need. If you're patient I can get out of this bed and we shall go." I do creep out of the bed, gently bending myself erect. He waits at my side, his face twisting at my moans and groans. "I'm ready" I laugh. He walks down the stairs, waiting for me to meet him. He can tell it hurts me. "You made it!" he jokingly applauds. His advisors are at the table so I know the only talk will be talk of war and things I despise. I roll my eyes at him. He pulls the chair out for me and I sit, clearly unhappy. They do talk all dinner of war and rule, I don't know what we are eating but I'm not very fond of it. I push my food around the plate, making a game of trying not to make the god awful scraping noise on the porcelain. "_…mind control…_" I look up from my plate. He looks at the man as if he had not've said anything. It becomes clear that he is taking over the people of Asgard by taking their minds with that damn scepter. I shoot him a disapproving look. He kicks me under the table. I push my plate away, now having absolutely no appetite.

"Mind control!" he comes through the doors. "Only to those who…" "I don't care who!" he gets into bed, his clothes changing. He pretends to fall asleep. "This is not okay Loki." I lay in the dark, unable to sleep. I roll over and use the restroom 30 times within the two hours. I can't get comfortable. I get up to change, the room is now lit. I pull the shirt over my head as he watches me. "Charlotte, what did you do?" "To what?" "Your back." "Nothing." "Just tell me" he growls. "I fell" I whisper, hoping that there is no more explanation needed. "Off of?" "I just fell" "Flat on your back? And it left you with marks like that. Do you take me for an idiot?" "No. I fell, off the horse. It was really nothing. It was clumsy of me, if my back was not already so sore nothing would've come of it…don't get angry." I begin to step back towards the guard. "I'm not angry, just confused as to why I married a woman with brains of a fly." he sighs. I get back in the far side of the bed. "Can we talk?" "Yes." "What did James say to you out there?" "He bargained his life for yours. I decided it'd be best for me to cover it up. The man was begging on his knees." "He is foolish." "You've taken his heart. He was more than clear that his death meant nothing if you were alive." he says plainly, sighing. "Have your food checked before you eat it. Don't so much as go to the bathroom without someone at your back. He will kill you." "Do we take him?" "No, let it remain normal until I am gone, for the sake of my heart. Don't let him die." "He has your heart?" "I'm sorry to say. But I love you as a husband and this is my duty." I rest on my hands and knees, feeling my back release pressure.


End file.
